Category Archives: L

The Toughest of the Tough

14 Friday Dec 2012

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On every Sunday morning for the first 16 years of my life I attended my local church. Whilst its fair to say the religious side of things meant absolutely nothing to me, I was there because my mother said I had to be, but it was a wonderful place to observe and learn.
I used to watch as at communion time, the little old ladies would queue up to receive their wafer, and sip of wine from the priest, and marvel at how they defied the disabilties of old age to shuffle up the aisle to complete, as they saw it, their religious duties.
At that time I was very much discovering the world and its workings, and being a young boy I hero-worshipped the tough and the daring. Be it Ian Botham smashing the Aussie bowling around Headingley in 1981, or Oxford United’s hard-man centre-half Gary Briggs tackling Doug Rougvie so hard Rougvie’s collar was broken, these were my heroes.
As time went by I added other experiences to my palate, travel, art, and literature, but there was, and is still the part of me that likes the idea of the James Bond, Alpha-male character, because its so far from my own personality and physical prowess.
Occasionally in the adult comic “Viz” there’s a strip called “Mrs Brady, Old Lady” about a senile pensioner and her friend Mildred. They speak of their ailments in a mixture of Les Dawson-esque euphemism, and almost gruesome medical detail, but time after time there they are, still not quite comprehending their own mortality. They did, however lead me to a conclusion, especially as its now my mother who’s joined the ranks of the little old ladies shuffling down the aisle at church.
You see for all these years I’d been labouring under a misapprehension. I’d considered the tough guys as being entirely different from the little old ladies. In fact the ladies are simply the stronger, after all when someone gets mugged but successfully fights back, is it the Stallone-type muscle man? Of course it isn’t, its the toughest of the tough-the little old lady. I await the Hollywood blockbuster with interest.

Steamed Up!

29 Wednesday Aug 2012

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Friday 24th August 2012 ko 6.30pm

Mid-Wales League Division 2

LLANFAIR UNITED 4 (G Jones 13 80 Gethin 24 74)

ABERMULE 1 (Anthony 31)

Att 261

I should start by declaring an interest in the next 11 articles. The Welsh Hop is organised by GroundhopUK and I am Chris Berezai’s deputy. So what you read will be very much from the perspective of the organiser!

In this case it meant being at the hop base, The Dolforwyn Hall Hotel, near Newtown, around 11am. That’s been the hop’s home for the last 3 years, this year sadly being the last, as we’ve run out of clubs in the Mid-Wales League! Still this year’s event was a good chance to go out with a bang, and with a record number of pre-booked tickets sold, and a second coach in operation for the first time, we were good to go. Continue reading →

The Aylesbury Ring

29 Wednesday Aug 2012

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Thursday 23rd August 2012 ko 6.30pm

Pre-season Friendly

LONG MARSTON 10 (13 15 23 27 32 33 47 57 64 80)

LONG MARSTON RESERVES 3 (39 41 46)

Att 5 (h/c)

The idea of this was to find a game so as to avoid getting to Lee and Gilly’s in Southam too early. I should explain; they very kindly offered to put me up in so as to give Lee and I a shorter journey the next day to Newtown for the weekend’s Welsh groundhop. The thing is that they only got married in June, and this weekend would be their first apart since the wedding. They’d said nothing, but for me the obvious thing to do was to give them as much time as possible, and since when do I need an excuse to find a game?

Salvation came in the form of the Milton Keynes Chuckle Brothers, James Rennie and Chris Garner. Long Marston vs Pitstone, Ivinghoe and Cheddington United. The latter is a team formed to make use of the ground built for Spartan South Midland League Pitstone and Ivinghoe but with a pitch that’s too small for the league’s requirements.

Long Marston represents a place I worked at around 20 years ago. Not much has changed, it’s still just about in Hertfordshire, and is found on the easternmost tip of the Aylesbury ring, a 31 mile walking tour that is never more than 5 miles from the Buckinghamshire town. The village was the scene of the last witch-lynching in the UK in 1751. Continue reading →

Chinese Badminton

10 Friday Aug 2012

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Monday 6th August 2012 ko 6.30pm

Faringdon Thursday Memorial Cup First Round

LOWER STRATTON 3 (Doult 12 Hitchman 33p Grimley 44)

STANFORD-IN-THE-VALE 3 (Mayall 28 62 67)

No Extra time, Stanford won 4-3 on penalties

Att 15 (h/c)

Played at Meadowcroft Recreation Ground, Addison Crescent, Lower Stratton, Swindon

Entry FREE

Nothing for sale

The roots of this competition lie in the 1930’s and the early closing of local shops on a Thursday thus creating an ideal opportunity to play football. In 1936 a team was formed in Faringdon to enter the local, “Oxfordshire Thursday League,” but after the Second World War the returning players found that things had changed and there was now no early closing on a Thursday. Their response was Continue reading →

This Next Season

01 Sunday Jul 2012

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Saturday 30th June 2012 ko 2.00pm

Pre-season Friendly

LONDON LIONS 1 (Keterman 48)

FISHER FC 2 (Oyettunji 11 Wadmore 43)

Att 42 (h/c)

Entry & Programme £5

Played at Rowley Lane Sports Ground, Arkley, near Barnet.

I don’t remember pre-season friendlies ever starting up this early, well not for clubs not involved in European qualifying. It gave me a small dilemna, as I normally use the FIFA rule that places June in last season. However the match-day programme has got 2012/3 so I’ve reset the counter!

The appeal of this one was the ground, London Lions normally play their home games at Broxbourne as there’s no lights at Rowley Lane. That may well change with the new floodlit 3G pitch adjacent to the main pitch. Our game was another step down the hill, on the training pitch. One of two hoppers ummed and ahh’ed but then realised they could come back again for the main pitch! Incidentally, the main pitch is used on a Sunday by Arsenal Ladies reserves, affording the hopper to break every purist rule in the book, all at once!

I do have a slight connection with Arkley, as my grandfather was born there, and was brought up in adjacent Barnet. The sports ground these days is very much a base for the London Maccabi association. It’s a trust aimed at promoting sport for London’s Jewish community, and its principal football team the London Lions, play in the second tier of the Spartan South Midlands League.

I would question the fiver to get in, but the 8 page programme was welcome, and an hour of the game was hugely enjoyable, until two tiring sides felt the need to make vast numbers of subsitutions, destoying the rhythm of the game. With Fisher having no players under contract, this was a game for the multitude of triallists to impress, and its didn’t take long for one, Olye Oyettunji to impress, cutting inside the left back and placing a shot in the bottom left corner.

The visitors were clearly the stronger outfit, and got their second from the penalty spot, Adam Wadmore converting after Aron Barnes brought down Ope Aromona. The second half saw the Lions come into the game a little more and made the game interesting on 48 minutes, Tony Junior Keterman converting Sam Sloma’s left wing cross. Sloma played last season for London’s other Jewish club, Wingate and Finchley, so perhaps there’s communication between the two clubs!

Treatment for The Clinic

31 Thursday May 2012

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Monday 21st May 2012 ko 19.20

Superettan

LANDSKRONA B.O.I.S 4 (Raun 9 Karlsson 28 F Olsson 65 85)

HAMMARBY F.F. 1 (Dahl 11)

Att 3,450

Entry 160 sek

Programme FREE

Badge 40 sek

After an overnight stay in Linköping, we drove for 4 hours and 360 km south to Sweden’s south coast to Landskrona. The Danish coast is clearly visible from the seafront here. The town is overshadowed somewhat by nearby Malmö, particularly in the shipyard business and bypassed by the Øresund bridge since 2000, which ended sea passenger traffic to Copenhagen from here. Some help has come with the building of the new railway station, and all trains on the high-speed Gothenburg to Copenhagen service now stop at Landskrona. I have to say I rather liked the town with its wide array of cafes and restaurants and the remains of defences used at various times to keep Danes and Swedes out!

Landskrona idrottsplats stretches the multisport (idrotts) to the limit, there’s no running track, and other than other pitches one with a lovely old terrace, the only other sports in evidence are courtesy of the Ice Hall at one corner. There’s only one covered enclosure, the main stand with its vertical and horizontal curves, and one end features nothing more than a hospitality area. It’s certainly differently different, and there was plenty more of interest too.

Apart from the visitors being Stockholm based Hammarby, and my travelling partner Kim Hedwall being an AIK-Solna fan, the visitors were immmediately dismissed as “The Clinic” a comment on the area’s former use as a leper colony! Add to that the home manager being Celtic legend Henrik Larsson, and it was clear that this was to be no ordinary second tier game.

At so it came to pass as Landskrona took the lead in fortuitous circumstances. Thomas Raun’s 20 yard shot was decent enough but it took a wicked deflection off a Hammarby defender to wrong foot Johannes Hoff in goal completely and nestle in the bottom right corner.

The response was almost immediate, and spectacular, as Andreas Dahl on the right, picked his spot from 25 yards out and his thunderbolt will be a goal I’ll remember for a long time.

It proved to be a flash in the pan as Landskrona quickly regained control of the midfield. Landskrona regained the lead on the 28th minute when Fredrik Olsson’s scuffed shot fell kindly to Fredrik Karlsson at the back post to tap in.

Half time couldn’t come quickly enough for Hammarby but they gained no new ideas during the interval, and Fredrik Olsson started the second half by having his close range shot blocked by Hoff, only for the same thing to happen to his namesake, Linus a minute later. Hammarby’s passing was ponderous, and a catastrophic backpass from Sinan Ayranci allowed Fredrik Olsson to dance round Hoff to tap home.

Hammarby did eventually manage to exert some pressure, and had a goal disallowed, through star player Christophe Lallet, for a marginal offside decision. The hosts simply counter-attacked and got their fourth, Fredrik Olsson’s shot having just enough power in it to trickle over the line, despite Hoff’s partial block.

A highly entertaining game, with one quirk. The programme here is in fact the sports section of the local newspaper! It’s clearly a view amongst some in Swedish football that all you really need is a teamsheet, and that’s a view I don’t necessarily disagree with.

Wacky Races

05 Saturday May 2012

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Friday 4th May 2012 ko 6.45pm

Cambridgeshire County League

LINTON GRANTA 7 (A Palmer 7 30 Greathead 23 Elston 73 Stanley 76 82 84)

NEWMARKET TOWN RESERVES 1 (Williams 90)

Att 90 (h/c)

Entry FREE

Programme £1

The idea for this extravaganza was Wavendon-based Chris Garner’s. He pointed out that a sharp exit from work in Banbury at 4.30 meant I could pick him up in Milton Keynes at 5.30. That gave us 75 minutes to knock off 50-or-so miles to Linton, the wrong side of Cambridge, simple? Not on a Friday, and the Black Cat (roundabout on the A1) wasn’t so lucky on this occasion. Still we only missed a minute or two, and what a great tick to get, and Len Spierenburg and Don Scott filled in the gaps.

The village lies on the southern edge of the county, and is best known for its zoo. There’s also a Festival each May Bank Holiday, with participants dressed in comedy costumes racing down the High Street, stopping in all the pubs for a pint, and then racing through the fields next to the village and back down the High Street. Continue reading →

T E A M

02 Wednesday May 2012

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Wednesday 2nd May 2012 ko 6.30pm

Oxon Senior League Division One

LONG CRENDON 4 (C Scott 17 R Scott 51 Duke 61 75p)

OAKLEY UNITED 10 (Baylie 9 59 Shaw 15 76 Woodfine 33 41 49 84 C Davies 83 Pooke 86)

Att 12 (h/c)

Entry FREE

Nothing for sale

Its a quirk of the league that this second tier game was in fact played by two Buckinghamshire sides! Mind you Long Crendon is only just over the border, around a mile or so, as you leave Thame.

The village used to be known as simply “Crendon” but during the English Civil War, to avoid confusion with nearby Grendon that village had “Underwood” added, and Crendon gained a “Long” a remark on the ribbon development that is still in evidence today. In the 13th century Crendon and Aylesbury were the only two settlements in England where Continue reading →

Oft in Short Supply

14 Saturday Apr 2012

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Friday 13th April 2012 ko 2.00pm

FA Premier Academy League Group C

LEICESTER CITY 2 (Paratore 37 Tambini 71)

WATFORD 0

Att 52 (h/c)

@ The Training Centre, Middlesex Road, Aylestone, Leicester

Entry FREE

No Programme/Team Sheet

Soup 80p

For a side in the second tier of adult football and the top one of U18’s the Leicester City Training facility is surprisingly low-key. There’s a large clubhouse which is out-of-bounds to spectators, 4 pitches, and a car park. The only clues to the money sloshing around in the top echelons of the game was the well-tended flower beds, and the helicopter parked at the far end. Perhaps that was there as an implication to the young players.

There were in fact two games taking place, both with Watford as the opposition. Lee and I parked behind the U16’s game which was annoying, as in the midst of a hail storm we’d have been perfectly happy to have watched from the car. Thankfully the weather soon abated and we strolled over to the U18’s pitch. It was simple enough to get the lineups and we settled down to watch the game.

As far as I know there are only two sides in the FA Premier Academy League never to have fielded a side in the adult Premier League, those being Crewe and the MK Dons. The first being recognition of Dario Gradi’s excellent Youth Policy at Gresty Road, the other being Dons, er, purchase of Wimbledon’s league position.

This fixture saw two Championship sides battle it out, and out first observation was the sheer number of foreign players on show. Surely the point of an academy side is to bring on HOME GROWN players? The second was how referee James Thornhill seemed to be controlling the game by a policy of passive aggression. Sadly it became all too clear why he was approaching the game in this manner. That’s because the players were hell-bent on contesting each and every decision. If ever a game was summed up by the phrase “Act like children and I’ll treat you like children,” this was it!

A nice interchange of passes between Rob Parratore and Matt Robinson saw the former do well to fire home to open the scoring, but the game soon got bogged down in dissent, and petty fouls. It would have stayed 1-0 but for an injury to visiting goalkeeper Daniel Wilks. With no specialist keeper on the bench he soldiered on to complete the fixture, but with an injured leg, he was powerless to prevent Louis Tambini’s scrambled effort from trickling over the line with three-quarters of the game gone.

Not great, and I did notice that former Northampton, Bristol Rovers and Oxford United manager Ian Atkins made his excuses and left at half time. He’d learned everything he needed to at that point. Sadly, so had everyone else, in a game where only one participant had shown any great common sense, the referee, who amazingly had managed to avoid booking anyone. Such things are oft in short supply.

One Clump or Two?

11 Wednesday Apr 2012

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Tuesday 10th April 2012 ko 6.30pm

North Berkshire League Division One

LONG WITTENHAM 3 (Osbourne 8 Cooper 56 Saunders 70)

CROWMARSH GIFFORD 0

Att 24 (h/c)

Entry FREE

No programme

Coffee-in-a-mug 50p

Mars Bar 50p

I wanted to visit the Bodkins Field for quite a while, I’m not completely sure why, but its probably due to the area’s topological feature, the Wittenham Clumps two hills clearly visible when you’re travelling from Didcot to Wallingford. It’s a delightful rural setting in my favourite local league, one that’s set up for its participants. That’s why I was so pleased that they did such a wonderful job in staging their first groundhop last September, and plans are afoot for this September’s spectacular!

Another reason to go was referee Les Addison. Les is former chairman of the league and was instrumental in getting the hop and running. He believed we could achieve something, and I hope we repaid his belief. He’s now retired from committee duties but remains a referee and a darned good one at that, so I knew the fixture was in good hands.

So what’s at Bodkins Field? The short answer for many hoppers is 2 brands of White Horse brewery bitter at £2 a pint. Remind me folks, when we take the NBFL hop to here, to schedule an early evening fixture! The club are up for it too,and we talked about how a farmer’s field next door could be utilised for parking. In terms of facitilies there’s a clubhouse, and that’s just about it. Mind you what do you expect of what is a rural participatory league?

I spotted a brass plaque in the clubhouse, stating that following a fire,the rebuilt clubhouse was opened by Oxford United’s Jeremy Charles in 1986. I asked about it, and smiled at the response. Apparently he arrived without any idea of why he was there, but perked up quite
considerably when he saw the girls…..

The game looked like an away banker with Crowmarsh top, and rivals Faringdon looking for an opening to push for elevation at the end of the season. I can’t accuse Crowmarsh of not wanting it enough, as I feel that Wittenham made them play the game their way.

Osbourne opened the scoring with a devastating header, direct from a corner, and always looked to have the upper hand as Crowmarsh looked devoid of ideas on a bumpy pitch. With a fair amount of dissent on display it needed a strong referee, and Les was equal to the task, only reaching for the cards when absolutely necessary.

For the second half Crowmarsh started far more brightly but were undone again when a glorious through ball put Cooper clean through and he made no mistake to double the lead. Saunders’ thumping volley, again direct from a corner made it 3-0 and was clearly the highlight of the match. Crowmarsh’s misery was complete when Studwick collected his second yellow for a studs-up challenge, and considering the first was for dissent he and his management will regard the inevitable suspension as entirely avoidable.

But that’s the beauty of this friendly,well organised league. No result can be completely guaranteed. Hopefully you’re all looking forward to visiting this peach of a league in September.