Tag Archives: Football

The Hangover

10 Tuesday Apr 2012

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Saturday 7th April 2012 ko 1.30pm

Northern Counties East League Premier Division

STAVELEY MINERS WELFARE 0

PICKERING TOWN 1 (Parker 74)

Att 270

For our next game we travelled south on the M1 to Derbyshire, and Staveley in the borough of Chesterfield, famous for its crooked church spire. If Maltby was a typical colliery town, stark in its industry, then Staveley with a similar background seems to have moved away from its heritage. We passed the site of the Markham Colliery now a country park with lake, the only clue to its past being the pit wheel mounted in concrete.

There’s obvious regeneration going on at Staveley MW’s ground Inkersall Road. I visited for a NCEL Division 1 game about 5 years ago and liked the place. When I’d gone back two days previously to collect the programmes, I barely recognised the stadium. The Baris group, who specialise in facades and linings, and their chairman Terry Damms sponsor the League and club, and have been responsible for an almost complete rebuild of the ground. The idea was to bring the ground up to Northern Premier League standards, but such has been the progress that by my reckoning its close to Conference standards! Its worth commenting that Baris were kind enough to sponsor this year’s NCEL hop.

There was never any doubt that the club would be able to cope with a crowd. In fact the previous week they’d attracted a crowd of 1,050 for their FA Vase semi-final second leg vs Dunston UTS. In charge of catering is Ele Reaney, who’d impressed Chris with her food at the Dunston game, and once again the club pulled out all the stops, and I have to say the chicken curry and chips were delicious. There was the biggest programme stall I have ever seen, you could could get your picture taken with replicas of the World, European, Premiership and FA Cups, and a wide range of clothing (even in “Hopper” size) was on sale.

The problem was that Staveley had lost that FA Vase tie in heartbreaking circumstances, and they were having a massive hangover about it. What for all the world looked like a home banker proved to be  a turgid game of few chances. It looked for all the world to be a nil-nil draw until subsitute Russell Parker popped up for the Pikes to fire home as the clock ran down. Staveley huffed but they looked a tired and toothless team. Promotion on this showing looks unlikely, despite the efforts of Staveley’s many volunteers and supporters.

That said the hoppers climbed back on the coach marvelling at how such a well appointed ground could be hosting step 5 football.

One signpost only

09 Monday Apr 2012

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Friday 6th April 2012 ko 4.45pm

Northern Counties East League Premier Division

LIVERSEDGE 0

ARNOLD TOWN 1 (Burton 43)

Att 317

Entry & Programme Hop Ticket

Badge £3

The village of Liversedge lies between Cleckheaton and Heckmondwike in the Spen Valley near Bradford. In 1812 it was the scene of a Luddite riot at Rawfolds Mill when the local weavers attacked Edmund Cartwright who was in the process of developing his new power loom. So dominated by its suroundings the village, that apparently there’s only one signpost directing you here. Continue reading →

The Idle Working Men’s Club

08 Sunday Apr 2012

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Friday 6th April 2012 ko 1.45pm

Northern Counties East League Premier Division

THACKLEY 1 (Mallinson 84)

LONG EATON UNITED 1 (Chambers 26)

Att 327

Entry & Programme Hop Ticket

Badge £3

Copy of Jack Charlton’s autobiography £3

Team Sheet 20p

It really was a very shot drive across Bradford to Thackley, in fact we had enough time to call in at the Idle Working Men’s Club! The name is a simple pun as the club is in the district of, yes Idle!

Despite the Bradford address Dennyfield has a rural feel to it, it even has a stables at one end! The club once again had read their notes, and were ready for the descending hoppers! This time the food of choice was a delicious chilli-con-carne with rice which seemed to be very popular. The club ran a bookstall in aid of “Help for Heroes” which I thought was a nice touch, and again the club’s big day went like clockwork.

I took a few minutes to have a look around. I soon found well-loved hopper Derek Coope having a doze in the clubhouse. No hop is quite the same without Deadly, a retired professor of mathematics. He’s not in the best of health these days, and I doubt his doctor would approve of him going groundhopping but its obvious what a lift these weekends give him. What he probably doesn’t know if how much his presence lifts everyone else!

The ground would grace a much higher level. There’s hard standing behind both goals and a large stand at the half way line. On the other side there’s a open terrace which the club are fundraising to convert to a second stand. Beyond the near goal there’s an intriguing tower structure. It turned out we were actually standing on top of a railway and the “Tower” is in fact a ventilation shaft!

The game for all the world looked a home banker as Long Eaton are struggling to maintain Premier Division status so when Danny Chambers fired United into the lead from a corner, and the visitors looked strong in defence a minor upset looked on the cards. I had my cup of tea with the officials at half time, none of which seemed unduly worried, apart from the vexed issue of consuming the delicious but hot soup and be out for the second half!

That seemed to be following a similar path to the first. Thackley attacked and Long Eaton defended, it wasn’t a wonderful spectacle but I found it gripping in a “Will they, won’t they” way. Thackley did equalise, Matt Morgan’s through ball into the box was seized on by John Mallinson, who from the tightest of angles on the right managed to find the net. That was the very least Thackley deserved, but it did leave one person slightly disappointed, Long Eaton resident Chris Berezai! Not sure the accent is quite Derbyshire though!

Here we go again!

08 Sunday Apr 2012

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Thursday 5th April 2012 ko 7.45pm

Northern Counties East League Division One

YORKSHIRE AMATEUR 1 (Craig Heard 45)

HEMSWORTH MINERS WELFARE 3 (Crapper 11 Williams 19 48)

Att 179

Entry & Programme Hop Ticket

Badge £3

“Leeds Pale” Bitter £2.50/pint

This was a long day! From Long Eaton, Chris and I set off for Staveley Miners Welfare to pick up 3 sets of programmes for the inaugural NCEL hop. From there it was further up the M1 to the Cedar Court Hotel in Wakefield, our HQ for the weekend. There we were joined by League Committee member Karl Blackburn with the other sets of programmes. It took around 90 minutes to put together the 100 or so programme packs for those who’d pre booked their tickets.

By that time it was around 1.30, so Chris and I started the shuttle runs to the various rail stations of Wakefield to pick up the public transport using hoppers. Included in that throng was the towering presence of Ari, the chairman of the Scarborough FC Norwegian supporters club, which has 60 members!

After a strong coffee, it was soon 5.45 and our coach, driven by Godfrey arrived. It took around an hour to reach Leeds and Bracken Edge, home of our first club Yorkshire Amateur. On the way we had a phone call from Central Midlands League Bonanza organiser Rob Hornby to wish us luck. Considering that there’s friction between the CMFL and the NCEL it was a wonderful gesture from a class act.

From there on in it was a bit of a blur for an hour, as programme packs were distributed, friends reaquainted and officials met. It was a bit of a relief when we could all go and watch some football!

The “Ammers” are club with real history. They were founded in November 1918 but only began playing matches in 1919. In those early days, the club’s fixtures largely consisted of playing friendlies at Elland Road following the demise of Leeds City FC, on the orders of the Football Association, after irregularities were discovered in their accounts. However, in 1920 the club decided that the ground was not suitable for their needs and sold the lease to the newly formed Leeds United AFC for the sum of £250! They moved to their present headquarters at Bracken Edge in 1922 after using several other grounds, including sharing with Harrogate Town.  in 1932 a record crowd of 3,569 paid gate receipts of £160 to see the 5-2 Amateur Cup Quarter Final replay victory over Wimbledon. This was after a 2-2 draw at Plough Lane before a crowd of 12,000. The “Ammers” had demolished the holders, Wycombe Wanderers, 4-0 in the previous round but lost to Marine in the semi final.

Since then life has been a struggle, living in the shadow of the far bigger professional clubs in the area, but is a remarkably spick and span ground that sadly these days sees gates in the teens. For all that, the clubhouse has been refurbished and the club worked incredibly hard serving up hot food and specially purchased real ale to the hoppers.

On the pitch sad to say, Amateur were no match for their visitors from mid-way between Barnsley and Pontefract proved to be far too strong for their hosts. Ryan Williams was the pick of the players on show collecting a brace, but the scoreline could easily have been crueller on the hosts.

As organiser, I’d have liked to have seen a few more at the game, but given the appalling traffic on the M1 and on a working day, I’m probably just being hard to please. On the way out of the first ground on each hop, I’ve got into the habit of quietly listening to hoppers’ impressions of what they’ve just seen. They were all positive, so I allowed myself to breathe, and after returning to the hotel, we found a local boozer, with acting Fareham Town FC secretary Paul “Splodge” Proctor, and relaxed.

Dilemna at Junction 30

02 Monday Apr 2012

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Sunday 1st April 2012 ko 12.00pm

Golesworthy Cup Quarter Final

TOPSHAM TOWN 3RDS 3 (Gibbons 35 Rouse 38 Ward 45)

CLYST VALLEY 3RDS 3 (Hine 6 Hood 73 Cooper 90)

AET Clyst Valley won 4-3 on pens

Att 22 (h/c)

Entry FREE

No Programme

The pretty Devon town of Topsham is often described as a suburb of Exeter, but does retain its own distinct identity. Part of it is that there are many Dutch style houses in Topsham dating from the time when the town was an important cotton port. Many of Topsham’s houses are built using Dutch bricks, which were brought over as ballast from Holland – to where the wool and cotton from South-West England had been exported. There is an excellent antique centre on the Quayside, where once I picked up a rather impressive cheese grater!

The genteel feel does not extend to the Exeter Road based Coronation Field. Leaving town you pass by the University of Exeter ground, under the M5 and Topsham’s home is the next thing you see on your right. A huge sign for Junction 30 of the M5 is visible from the far goal. The club have played in the South-West Peninsula League, but following relegation, now ply their trade in the top flight of the Devon & Exeter League. The ground is well appointed, and would have no difficulties in gaining SWPL grading. In fact tucked away at the far side is a set of floodlights, bought as salvage from the sadly demolished Clyst Rovers ground.

Things are looking up for Topsham. They’re third in the table some distance behind leaders Seaton Town, but with doubts on Seaton’s rather narrow pitch, there’s all to play for. Except of course that Mike and I weren’t there to watch the 1st XI! With this game kicking off at midday and another at Sidmouth straight afterwards this wasn’t a day to worry about semantics! An unexpected bonus was that another hopper thought the same. I hadn’t seen Taunton-based Martin Bamforth for 2 years, which was a real pity. Martin has a long line of groundhopping mishaps which he’s not embarrassed to recount. A favourite was driving to Edinburgh to watch Hibernian in a European fixture only to discover on arrival that it was Hibernians of MALTA that were at home that evening!

The Golesworthy Cup is primarily for teams who play in the 6th, 7th and 8th divisions of the Devon and Exeter League, although some Perry Street and District League teams do enter. With criteria like that it’s inevitable that there’s very few first XI’s in the draw, and with these two sides 4th and 6th respectively in Division 6 the fixture did look competitive. I was told that Topsham’s 4th XI had won the trophy last season.

The trouble was it that the game found new ways to be a poor spectacle. Firstly Topsham conceded a daft goal, keeper John Parkes fumbling Danny Hine’s hopeful lob, before racing into a 3-1 lead, and looking completely dominant. Trouble is, after half time they stopped the neat passing that had given them the advantage. David Hood came on for Clyst and despite suffering the after-effects of a Saturday night curry, he finished well to get his team back in the game. With time tight for the Sidmouth we really didn’t want extra time, but of course that’s what we got, after a poor clearance was knocked in by Sam Cooper with seconds left.

Of course extra time produced nothing, as the both teams had ran themselves into the dust. That delayed the inevitable penalties by half an hour, and in this case Clyst knocked in all 4 they took to win. Except it wasn’t quite as straightforward as that. Barlow took the 4th for Clyst which was saved. Unfortunately for Topsham he hadn’t waited for the whistle and he scored with his retaken kick

At the end the Topsham players bemoaned that one incident, but if they’d kept doing what they’d started they’d have won this one easily.

Jurassic Park

02 Monday Apr 2012

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Saturday 31st March 2012 ko 2.30pm

Perry Street & District League Premier Division

LYME REGIS AFC 2 (Simier 52 Gosling 90)

ILMINSTER TOWN RESERVES 1 (Gilman 41)

Att 44 (h/c)

Entry by donation

No programme

125 years of LRFC brochure £2

Tea-in-a-mug 50p

It was a full 18 months since I’d last visited the Dorset town of Lyme Regis, and with me finally getting round to visiting friends Mike and Christine, in footballing terms the number one priority was a visit to the Davey Fort.

Lyme Regis is known primarily for one thing, palaeontology as the coast, a World Heritage site, stretches over a distance of 153 kilometres from Exmouth, in the west, to Old Harry Rocks in the east.The coastal exposures along the coastline provide a continuous sequence of Triassic, Jurassic and Cretaceous rock formations spanning approximately 185 million years of the Earth’s history. The localities along the Jurassic Coast include a large range of important fossil zones. The Blue Lias rock is host to a multitude of remains from the early Jurassic period.  Many of the remains are well preserved, with complete specimens of several important species. Many of the earliest discoveries of dinosaur and other prehistoric reptile remains were made in this area  notably those discovered by Mary Anning (1799–1847).

The Davey Fort sits on the hill as you enter the town from the north. There’s a clubhouse with an overhang behind the near goal, and a rail on one side. There simply isn’t room for much else as the ground is on a ledge cut out of the hill, and despite the obvious attempts to widen it, the pitch is too narrow to allow the club to progress upwards into the Dorset Premier League.

And that’s the tragedy of the piece. Here is a wonderful, charming club, who’ve won the league at a canter, and are clearly a big fish in a small pond, but the biggest problem lies in finding a large enough piece of flat land, in a hilly town that’s fashionably expensive! I chatted to club stalwart Graham “Percy” Vere (529 goals in 20 years), who told me that the club had found a suitable site further north, only to be turned down by the local authorities, as ONE PERSON had complained that he might have been able to have seen a floodlight! And people wonder why this country has an obesity problem!

With Lyme having the title all wrapped up, this game had the incentive of the club maintaining its 100% home record for the season. They made a confident start but the visitors, one of whose subsitutes had no idea in which league his first eleven play(Somerset County League), soon found their feet. Ilminster surprised everyone, including themselves, by scoring just before half time, when a beautifully flighted free kick from the left was turned in by Louis Gilman.

Regis didn’t seem unduly worried and soon after the restart a perfectly flighted cross from the right was expertly headed home by subsitute Julian Simien. Its was one way traffic by now and only a series of baffling off-sides given by the Ilminster club linesman kept the champions out. It was, of course only a matter of time, and in the final minute a perfect cross-cum-shot from the right by Joel Gosling nestled in the corner of the net. When you’re this good, you need no other opportunity.

A great achievement, but tinged with the regret that through no fault of their own, they’ll be having no other challenge next season but to try to repeat the feat.

Back of the 7″

01 Sunday Apr 2012

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Friday 30th March 2012 ko 7.30pm

Mid-Someset League Dimmock Green Cup Final

MEADOW RANGERS 0

FROME TOWN SPORTS 1 (Lock 29)

Att c130

Played at Shepton Mallet FC

Entry & Programme £2

The idea of this one was simple, in that it was on the way down to see my friends Mike and Christine in Dorset. I hardly need an excuse to watch a game, but at a new ground on the way? It would be rude not to!

The Somerset town of Shepton Mallet, is possibly best known as where Babycham is produced! The western suburbs are dominated by the Charlton railway viaduct and the former Anglo-Bavarian brewery building. The oldest working prison in the UK is to be found here. I knew none of this when I arrived, all I knew was that as a child cycling back from school, I’d stop at the local John Menzies to buy the latest 7″ single. On the back of the sleeve were the band’s tour dates, Wembley Arena, the Birmingham NEC and so on. One of the dates was always Shepton Mallet Showgrounds, but these days it never features on the tour schedules, I wonder why?

The town’s Western League team plays at Wells Road, West Mallet, but tonight the ground was being used for a local league’s cup final. The Mid-Somerset League feeds into the Somerset League, and then up into the Western League. The fixture pitched Midsomer Norton based Meadow Rangers top of the Premier Divison against Frome Town Sports, top of Division One. Frome’s connections with the town’s Southern League club were interesting. With Frome having no reserve team, this side wear Frome Town kit, and are very much under the senior team’s wing. The rules of the league state that a player cannot play more than 5 senior games in a season, so there can’t be much exchange of talent between the two sides.

What wasn’t clear from the moment they kicked off, was which side was in the top flight. I felt Frome at least tried to play football, but were being kicked all of the park by their opponents who were the wrong side of physical at best. In a frantic first half there were 2 punch-ups and another as the teams trooped off for half time. Meadow’s Jake Riddle’s stamp on Frome keeper Ryan Matthews damaged the young glovesman’s arm sufficiently for him to be able to take no further part, even in the presentation ceremony.

At that point at least we’d seen a goal, Adam Lock finishing well from 10 yards, but he was forced to take Matthews place in goal. It speaks volumes that he had virtually nothing to do, as Meadow kicked, elbowed and punched with Frome’s Ian Kennedy on the receiving end of most, rather than force home the obvious advantage. Unbelievably, referee Matt Drew took until 84 minutes to show anyone a card, and ridiculously the recipient was Kennedy himself, for an innocuous foul!

So, an uninspiring game, the correct side won, but the ground was the real star. I’ll let the photos speak for themselves.

Bearley Finished

28 Wednesday Mar 2012

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Tuesday 27th March 2012 ko 6.00pm (scheduled)

Stratford Alliance Division One

ALVESTON 4 (Layton 9p Fathers 31 Wilkes 67 Castle 70)

CUBBINGTON ALBION 1 (Andy Yates 65)

Att 33 (h/c)

Entry FREE

No programme

Many hoppers will know Alveston as a top flight Midland Combination outfit. Unfortunately at the end of last season they lost the use of their base at the Home Guard Club, in Tiddington, and have moved to the other side of Stratford-upon-Avon, to the small village of Bearley. The longest aqueduct in England, the Edstone Aqueduct, is just outside the village on the Stratford-upon-Avon Canal. The move cost the club its place in the Midland Combination, and were forced to take a 3 division demotion to the Stratford Alliance.

The Mill Field serves as both Sports field and Village hall, to the extent that the noise of the fixture was at times interrupted by the sounds of a few ladies doing their aerobics class! The bar area is first class with many watching a televised football match but the changing area will be a stumbling block to the club’s ambitions to a return to the Midland Combination. It’s strange, but there is only one changing room, the club have tried to provide separation by placing an upturned table tennis court in the middle, but that’s not good enough for promotion, so a new ground is being sought. With the club being top of the top flight the need is pressing!

The club’s administration is still of Midland Combination quality, even everyone else’s wasn’t. Referee Paul Batty ambled in at 6.00pm with Alveston ready to kick off, and immediately declared that he was switching kick off to 6.15. By then Cubbington had enough players to start, but kick off was then delayed to 6.30, by which time they had 11. Despite a number of the hoppers pointing out that playing 2 x 45 minutes would mean it would be dark before the final whistle, Mr Batty played a full first half, then was embarrassed as, yes, the game was finished 6 minutes early as it was dark….Some people you just can’t tell!

On the pitch, if either side had turned up with their shooting boots then we’d had seen a hat full of goals. Layton’s early penalty was the only thing to show for the massive superiority that Alveston were enjoying. Time after time Alveston smashed shots high or wide when it looked a good deal easier to score. Cubbington’s cause wasn’t helped with the loss of David Broomfield to a badly twisted knee on 20 minutes. They played on with 10 men until the 40th minute when a substitute had arrived and changed. As the visitors tired, so Alveston took advantage, and neither side should take issue with the shortened game. It made absolutely no difference to the destination of the points.

With the clocks having gone forward, and what groundhoppers refer to as “Silly Season” in force (evening kick-offs at unlit venues) I left grateful that I’d got a game, but I do think its unfair to expect amateur players to make a 6.00pm kick off. When the light allows a 6.30 start, well that’s a different story.

The Two Fingered Salute

26 Monday Mar 2012

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Sunday 25th March 2012 ko 2.30pm

Welsh League Division Two

MONMOUTH TOWN 6 (E Ford 11p 79 Spence 50 Alderdice 58 Lewis 67 Laurie 90)

BETTWS 0

Att 142 (h/c)

Entry & Programme £3

As a hopper you do tend to exaggerate the term “It’s on the way home.” I once managed to put Inverurie on the way from Inverness to Glasgow, and this one on the way from Plymouth to Oxford!

There were good reasons for me to visit the Monmouth Sports Ground though. For one the club are moving from the current pitch at the end of the season, to one about 50 metres away, nearer the clubhouse, and nearer the A40 that rumbles away behind the complex. That will mean the club will no longer have to share with the rugby club, but will lose use of the wonderful stand. With my stupid frame of mind, the other reason to be there was the sheer amount of times I’ve driven along the A40 and thought, “I’ve got to visit that ground!”

The border town of Monmouth is the first town you reach after leaving England at Symonds Yat. The town is the birthplace of Henry V, victor over the French at the battle of Agincourt in 1415. That was where the rude two fingered signal originated. The battle was won by the English longbowmen who’d been threatened with having their bow drawing fingers cut off by the French. On victory the English waved their intact two fingers at the surviving French and the legend was born. You never learned that from the Shakespeare play!

The town is also famous for its close links with the Rolls family, who built a mansion at The Hendre just outside the town. In 1904, Charles Rolls established a new car making business with Henry Royce, but in 1910 he was killed in an aeroplane crash at the age of 32; he is commemorated by a statue in Agincourt Square.

For the lads the new President of Monmouth Town is television presenter and occasional actress Lisa Rogers.

The game saw promotion chasing Town face struggling Bridgend-based Bettws (pronouced Bett-us). We all wondered why the game was being played on Sunday, it transpired that Bettws didn’t want an early evening kick off. It certainly worked for Monmouth with a bumper crowd enjoying the warm weather, a successful team and a superb programme. It certainly didn’t work for Bettws who’d played at Newcastle Emlyn the previous day losing 2-1, and then had this trip to contend with!

As expected Monmouth took a early lead with a slightly dodgy penalty, but were made to work hard for their second, but Dan Spence’s long range effort was a fine way to open up the floodgates. And open they did with 4 further goals in the final 32 minutes, as Bettws wilted in the sun.

The result makes promotion for Monmouth almost certain, after after being in the Gwent County League Division Two a mere 6 years ago. That’s quite some progress!

 

Sweet Surrender on the Quayside

26 Monday Mar 2012

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Saturday 24th March 2012 ko 3.00pm

South West Peninsula League Division One West

VOSPERS OAK VILLA 10 (Edwards 4 Fort 6 16 69 Almond 10p Jasper 34 38 83 Honeywill 50 Scholes 90)

PERRANPORTH 0

Att 34

Entry & Programme £3

Tea 50p

Pasty £1.20

This was a bit of a crazy day for me. Perhaps it was because I’d spent Friday evening in Witney catching up with some old workmates over a chicken madras and a beer or 10, but in the morning I set out towards Dorset to visit another old mate, a full week early! By the time I realised, I was in Dorset, so I needed a Plan B, and quickly!

There really was only one bloke to call given where I was, Sammo, or to use his proper title, Mike Sampson, press officer for the South West Peninsula League. He confirmed that Vospers Oak Villa in Plymouth were kicking off at 3, and that another mate, League Football Secretary & Web Master Phil Hiscox would be there too. From a groundhopping perspective Phil’s the chap that organises the popular groundhop the League hosts. It was good to speak to a fellow organiser, and look forward to when the League will have sufficient new grounds to host another Easter extravaganza.

Plymouth holds mixed feelings for me. I’ve always enjoyed my visits to the dockyard town for both football and for tourism. I attended Mike Sampson’s 60th birthday bash at Plymouth Argyle around 18 months ago which was a great night out. Sadly it was the last public appearance I made with my wife, before we separated 2 months later. So, yes, mixed feelings.

Vospers Oak Villa started their existence as Oak Villa in 1912 in what was known as the United Churches League and the club operated from St Phillips Church in Bridwell Road, in Plymouth. To play you had to be a member of the church, and the club’s name was taken from an old cottage at Camel’s Head where the first meeting took place. The team moved to Weston Mill, so adopted the name Weston Mill Oak Villa and rose up through local leagues, through to the Devon County League, and became founder members of the SW Peninsula League league in 2007.  The club is now known as Vospers Oak Villa, thanks to the sponsorship of Peter Vospers, of Vospers Motorhouse.

The Weston Mill ground is on the western edge of Plymouth close to the Devonport Docks, and the Tamar bridge linking Devon to Cornwall. It’s the Tamar Bridge that gives the league its logo. It has to be said that the ground will win no awards for beauty, or facilities, but the welcome was as warm as the weather. There’s a railed off pitch but no cover, and the only hard standing is via a disused 5-a-side pitch, itself a victim of vandalism. The gateman was exactly that, a man by a gate, with a bag of a programmes.

I’d seen a league table and thought this looked a home banker. Perranporth had only 7 points to show for a disastrous season, but the home officials didn’t seem confident, citing the departure of the management team looming at the end of the season, and a poor run of form. They could not have been more wrong, as the visitors played the vast majority of the game with ten men. Worse still their regular goalkeeper was unavailable (their officials said he was watching Arsenal, but then he is the recently departed manger’s son!), and the backup goalkeeper Ryan Barnes was sporting a broken thumb, so he was pressed into service in midfield, and midfielder Jack Bradshaw was pressed into service between the sticks. It didn’t work to put it mildly!

3 goals in 10 minutes set the tone, and at that point I honestly thought I may have been heading towards my highest aggregate score of 20. That I only got halfway was down to Bradshaw’s efforts, despite obviously not being a goalkeeper he threw himself at everything, and the fact that Villa eased off for periods playing an ineffective brand of champagne football. Joe Jasper and Stuart Fort will no doubt argue over who gets the match ball (is there a procedure for that?) but for me the man of the match was the unfortunate Jack Bradshaw who like his team-mates was there when it mattered. It would have been so easy for Perranporth to have simply not turned up. For that they deserve credit.

I should also thank Sammo for putting me up for the night and feeding me a huge breakfast Sunday morning. Thanks mate, and see you in Sweden!