The 5 Mile Drive

19 Sunday Feb 2012

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Sunday 19th February 2012 ko 10.30am

Upper Thames Valley League Devenney Cup Quarter Final

AFC JERICHO 1 (Matthews 65)

KINGS ARMS WHEATLEY 3 (S Jacob 38 Mapplethorpe 54 L Cuff 78)

Att 20 (h/c)

@ Oxford University Press Ground, Jordan Hill

Entry FREE

Nothing for Sale

The groundhopping purists would probably reckon I should have ticked this one off for OUP, who are the Saturday side here, playing in the top division of the Oxfordshire Senior League. Well, I hadn’t managed to do it in over 10 years of serious hopping so  I decided to do the Sunday team instead.

Jericho is a suburb in the north of Oxford. Its started life as a poorly drained slum, became briefly a red light district, and now is one of the most sought after areas in the city. It retains, however a decidedly bohemian feel, with cafes and the historic Castlemill boatyard. The Jericho Tavern has seen performances by bands such as Radiohead and Supergrass before they became famous.

Jordan Hill is in Cutteslowe, on the northernmost tip of the city, about a mile north of Jericho. It is so obviously a works ground, and is beautifully maintained. For me it was a 5 mile drive to get there, and a nearby street to the ground is would you believe, Five Mile Drive!

I was pleasantly surprised at the facilties on offer. From the cricket benches, the wooden dugouts to the post and roped off pitch, it was a pleasure to take in a game that when the weak sun managed to peak through the clouds, the scene was bucolic.

The game pitched Premier Division Kings Arms against their Division One hosts. When jotting down the lineups, I found myself recognising many of the visitors’ team. Just the eleven of them, but it transpired that they are on a Saturday, Headington Amateurs first XI! It did give an interesting measuring stick as to the quality that was on show.

The first half consisted of more or less continous home pressure, with Jericho missing chance after chance. They were made to pay when a neat move allowed Shaun Jacob to fire home on 38 minutes. It was Wheatley’s first meaningful attack and the home bench couldn’t believe it. It set the tone for the second half with Wheatley coming more and more into the game, as Jericho tired, and ran out of ideas. A glorious through ball put Francis Mapplethorpe in on goal and he made no mistake for 0-2.

The goal of the game was undoubtedly Kamen Matthews’ 25 yard free kick which sailed into the top right corner but this was to be mere consolation as the ever dangerous Luke Cuff pounced on a defensive howler to finish the game as a spectacle.

Daddy’s Scored!!!

19 Sunday Feb 2012

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Saturday 18th February 2012 ko 3.00pm

FA Vase 5th Round

HERNE BAY 1 (Campbell 86)

LARKHALL ATHLETIC 0

Att 612

Entry £7

Programme (reissue from last week’s postponement) £2

Badge £2

I have a soft spot for this competition, for sides 5 or more promotions from the Football League. There’s a Wembley Final, and unlike its bigger brothers, the Cup and Trophy, all the participants take it totally seriously, to the point that some refuse promotion so they can continue to enter!

The Kent town of Herne Bay lies close to Whitstable, on the south bank of the Thames Estuary. TV game show host Bob Holness hailed from the town, but the place is most famous for Sir Barnes Neville Wallis whose invention, the bouncing bomb, was developed and tested at nearby Reculver. The bomb was most famously used in World War II to destroy the Möhne Dam, as immortalised in the film “The Dambusters.”

Winch’s Field is set in a residential area, well away from the coast. It really is an Isthmian League ground in waiting with cover on all 4 sides, a club shop, and a spacious bar, There’s even a community radio station! The clubhouse sees service during the week as “Kiddies Corner” kindergarten, which probably explains the little garden along one perimeter fence! The real oddity though is the block containing the changing rooms, executive seating and the dugouts, I’ve never seen something like that before. However I’m not quite sure what the plastic deer on the grass back opposite are there to achieve!

The game was a high quality passing affair that at times was incredibly frustrating as neither side could find the killer pass to create a gilt-edged chance. Bay were clearly the better side but they made life difficult for themselves on 29 minutes when they had Tom Parker sent off. Herne Bay’s Michael Turner’s studs up challenge on Ross Beazer saw him lucky to stay on the pitch. A 20 man melee ensued and Parker received his marching orders for a punch on Larkhall’s Gary Thorne.

For the second half I decided to place myself behind the near goal, and a few minutes in, a young lady and her children arrived. She asked what the score was, and pointed out “Daddy,” James Campbell to her children.

The game looked like it was heading towards extra-time then a replay, when Michael Jenner drove a free-kick from the left into the penalty area. The ball evaded Larkhall keeper Chris Snoddy, and Campbell ghosted in at the far post to tap into an empty net. Amid wild celebrations “Mrs Campbell” turned to her young son, ” Daddy’s scored!” The reply was “Oh, can we go home then?”

Larkhall threw everything they had into the few minutes left. Substitute Tom Welch’s  35-yard free kick forced Eason to dive full-length to his left, but the ball bounced off the top of the crossbar and clear. With seconds left Welch again was on target, this time Eason dived low at the bottom corner to paw the ball round the post.

The final whistle sparked wild celebrations, but there was a nasty moment which the referee failed to spot. Amid the celebrations Tom Parker had made his way back on to the pitch and started to bait Gary Thorne, who had pensively squatted down. Fortunately Thorne showed restraint, and Parker was removed from the scene by a fellow player.

When I’d walked through the turnstiles around 2 hours earlier I’d looked at this fixture as being for the right to lose to Whitley Bay at some point. With the other Bay now knocked out, the competition looks wide open.

Cat, Mouse and Roger

19 Sunday Feb 2012

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Friday 17th February 2012 ko 7.45pm

“Varsity” Friendly

OXFORD UNIVERSITY BLUES 2 (Austin 16 75)

OXFORD BROOKES UNIVERSITY 0

Att 400 (officially speaking)

@ Oxford University Sports Centre, Iffley Road, Oxford

Entry £5 (if ticket bought!)

No programme

Catering available

You may wonder, dear reader why on earth I’d be interested in a student game, and a friendly at that! Well, apart from referring to the title of this blog, I’d mention the the history of the stadium, and the history of the fixture.

To us locals, the stadium will always be known as the Iffley Road Running Track, and where in 1954 Roger Bannister ran the first sub-four minute mile, watched incidentally by the world’s least sporting person, my Mother!  I first visited as a child in the early 80’s for the taping of the BBC’s “Superstars,” won that day by Welsh long jumper Lynn Davies. Since then I’ve seen Oxford University play there, and Oxford United’s youth team too.

For what in essence is a warm-up for the Oxford vs Cambridge varsity game, this fixture has real bite. The game has been played behind closed doors before, in 2010, after the discovery of a Facebook group suggesting that large numbers of Brookes fans would inundate the ground. The Brookes students simply scaled a fence and watched from there.

And that, I suspect, was the start of my problems. For when I arrived I discovered that not only was the game all-ticket, and limited to 400 tickets, it was sold out. Moreover around 20 stewards had been hired from Oxford United to maintain security. Normally I’d have simply turned round and headed for home, but I was just a little irked. This was because the fixture had been widely advertised on the OUAFC website and others, and there’d been no mention of it being all-ticket. With no opportunity to buy a ticket, I reasoned, and this being the first ever floodlit game at the venue I decided to see if there was another vantage point.

Which of course there was, on the far side where the athletics footprint meets the historic rugby union ground. There was a convenient grass bank in the corner, so I quietly sat down to watch the action. And I would have got away with it completely if 4 students hadn’t had exactly the same idea, but sat in full view of the stewards. At half time we all got moved on, “No ticket, no watch.” The students gave up, I waited until they’d gone, and quietly retook my position!

The game was worth the effort, as in front of a rowdy crowd the Blues were good value for their win. Whilst Brookes huffed and puffed, their hosts never looked like losing control of the fixture. Julian Austin was in predatory form, smashing in twice from decent crosses from the right to win the game.

Perhaps inevitably, there was a streaker, unfortunately for me, male, but with all the stewards present, he was allowed to stay on the pitch for a couple of minutes, while play continued. Eventually he gave up and surrendered to the authorities. Mind you, he was a bit of a pathetic streaker, he kept his shoes on!

I wonder whether in subsequent years this fixture will be moved to a larger venue to accomodate the obvious demand. The groundhopper in me would love it to be the wonderful rugby ground next door, although I’d expect the more likely choice would be Oxford City’s Court Place Farm. Watch this space.

Long Time Love Affair

15 Wednesday Feb 2012

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Tuesday 14th February 2012 ko 7.45pm

League 2

OXFORD UNITED 2 (Johnson 51 Constable 80)

DAGENHAM & REDBRIDGE 1 (Arber 72)

Att 5,653 (119 away)

Entry S/T

Programme (inc Oxford Mail) £3

It seemed like a long time since I watched an Oxford United game, and for a change it was not due to me gallivanting around! With the Barnet game postponed a week last Saturday with me conveniently in the Netherlands, and last Saturday’s game at Accrington frozen off, OUFC’s last home game was on 21st January, and the last game of any description just 8 days later.

Regular fans know OUFC find it difficult to break down the teams at the bottom of the League, and with Dagenham 3rd from bottom and with wily old fox John Still in charge it was always going to be a game that would be one for the result, rather than one to enjoy as a spectacle. The visitors simply placed 2 banks of 4 in front of the goal and aimed to soak up the pressure.

The first half demonstrated the point. For the U’s Asa Hall had one shot, Billy Bingham had another for D&G, and one corner was won, for the visitors. Yes, United were forced, due to a mixture of injury and suspension to field a side with 2 debutants, Scott Rendell, and Mark Wilson, but the team was carrying too many  passengers.

The second half saw a switch from 4-3-3 to 4-4-2, with another debutant, Lee Holmes replacing Hall. The performance improved, but not by much, but at least the U’s were exploiting the flanks through Holmes on the right, and Liam Davis on the left. It was through the latter that Oxford took the lead. Davis took the ball on the left flank, and his curling cross was met by Oli Johnson’s late run. His header beat D&G keeper Chris Lewington at his right post.

That meant the visitors had to come out and attack, but even then they lacked any real cutting edge, although both Andy Whing and Jake Wright provided important blocks. The equaliser, when it came was a defensive error as a cross from the right was allowed to travel to the back of the box and there was captain Mark Arber to head home, across U’s keeper Ryan Clarke.

For D&G substitute Adam Cunnington’s shot grazed the post, but United won the game with a move started by yet another debutant, Mehdi Kerrouche. His erudite pass found Johnson. His turn and pass found James Constable, who slammed the ball into the bottom right corner with positive glee.

Romantic? No chance. Entertaining? Barely. Important? Definately.

William & Richard

14 Tuesday Feb 2012

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Monday 13th February 2012 ko 7.45pm

Isthmian League Premier Division

BILLERICAY TOWN 2 (Chatting 59 80)

HENDON 1 (Rankine 90)

Att 301

Entry £9.50 + £1 stand transfer

Programme (reissue from postponed game) £2

Badge £3

Teamsheet FREE

Cheeseburger & Chips £3.50

There’s two people responsible for my attendance at this one; one is Peter Grant, the other is Paul “Splodge” Proctor. Neither had met the other, but both know me and each said they were going. I honestly didn’t think I could get to this part of Essex from a 5 o’clock start in Banbury, but despite roadworks, the M25 behaved itself and I arrived at the New Lodge well before kick off. Trouble is, with me not expecting to go to a game I’d travelled without my clipboard, a stopwatch, or a camera. Still, you make do with what you’ve got, so the pictures are courtesy of my iphone!

Upon entering the ground, I immediately was nervous. Yes, the pitch had been cleared of snow, the piles making an interesting backdrop, but the pitch looked very wet. Still, noone seemed to be bothered, so I made my way to the clubhouse to see who I recognised. Apart from Pete and Splodge, there were a multiplicity of London based hoppers, taking advantage of the unusual day for football. They are affectionately known as the “South London Old Gits Club,” and seeing the 10 or so there, you do  wonder why the smaller clubs don’t go for the less popular evenings, to try for this “Passing trade.” The reason for this Monday, I was told, was to avoid Valentine’s Day!!!

The New Lodge is the kind of hotch potch I like in a ground. There’s a pitched roof stand, slightly too narrow to be completely fit-for-purpose, a flat roofed building including the clubhouse seemingly getting in the way. With the club top of the league, there looks to be little or no work  to be done for the place to qualify for Conference Regional status.

However, for success at that level I would suggest that the Billericay strikers should actually try shooting!! I’d got talking before the game to an elderly gent, who pointed out his grandson, midfielder Harrison Chatting, and was pleased to see him get a start. It proved to be a good mark for my card, as the dimunitive player was the spark, and finally the fire that won the game. He ran, he fell over, he tried everything he could, but was let down by the unwillingness of his team-mates to finish what he started. In the second half he decided to do it himself, despite being the shortest player on the park he rose beautifully to head home, then fired home a half chance to win the game. Hendon offered nothing, their goal a mugging of home keeper Dale Brightly by former Bradford and Brentford professional Isaiah Rankin.

The only minor blemish of a decent night’s entertainment was an injury time brawl. It was utterly without any point, and referee Ian Bentley did well to keep 22 men on the pitch. Chatting had long since departed, his work done.

The Church of St Mary in the Hollow

12 Sunday Feb 2012

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Saturday 11th February 2012 ko 2.30pm

Welsh Alliance Division One

LLANFAIRPWLLGWYNGYLLGOGERYCHWYNDROBWLLLLANTYSILIOGOGOGOCH 3 (Thomas 2 19 R Owen 79)

GWALCHMAI 3 (Evans 6 Burgess 10 Allman 76)

Att 61 (h/c)

Entry £3

Programme £1

Badge £2.50

Coffee 70p

With the UK under a rather late big freeze it was very much a case of finding something, anything on. To make matters more pressing, Peter Grant was over from Japan and having made do with League football for a week, was looking for something more exotic! I wanted something a bit special as a means of saying thanks for putting me up for 2 weeks in the summer. Now here’s a groundhopping top tip, North Wales and Anglesey seldom freezes, so I decided to look at that part of the world. I thought it might also be fun to watch a Japanese based Australian try to pronounce some of the place names!

After collecting Chris Bedford from Stafford, the M6 made it impractical for us to get to our original choice of Pwllheli, so the choice was made to head for Anglesey, and the first village you reach once you’ve crossed the Britannia Bridge. Given the time we’d earned by driving less distance, we took time to visit the Marquess of Anglesey’s monument at the southern edge of the village. The 27 metres high monument offers excellent views of the Menai strait, the village, and the football team’s old ground Gor’s Field. From there we then visited the famous railway station, and the visitors’ centre for the inevitable tat, before heading up to Maes Eilian.

But let’s answer the three most obvious questions. Firstly why the ridiculously long name? In simple terms it’s a Victorian publicity stunt. In 1826 when Thomas Telford built the Menai suspension bridge then in 1850 the Britannia Bridge and the North Wales Coast Railway linked London to Anglesey and the ferry to Ireland, the villagers spotted an increase in local traffic. So as to get people to stop, a local committee was put together to try and encourage trains, travellers and 19th century tourists to stop at the village. It is believed that the name was elongated from the simple Llanfairpwll by a cobbler from Menai Bridge, little did he know that he had implemented one of the most successful tourist marketing plans of all time!

But what that is it mean? Deep breath now…..Saint Mary’s Church in the hollow of the white hazel near a rapid whirlpool and the Church of St. Tysilio of the red cave. And how is it pronounced? Something like…Llan-vire-pooll-guin-gill-go-ger-u-queern-drob-ooll-llandus-ilio-gogo-goch. Simple? For the vast majority of the time the name is abreviated to either Llanfair PG or Llanfairpwll.

The football club moved from the flood prone Gor’s Field a couple of years ago. Maes Eilian is about 400 yards north up the hill. The name of the new ground translates as Eilian’s Field, a slightly jokey reference to the legend concerning a local saint renowned for performing last minute miracles. It hasn’t kept the club in the second tier of Welsh football, the Cymru Alliance, the reduction in size of the Welsh Premier League having forced the club down a level. The original plans for the ground included a full clubhouse and floodlights. With grant monies not forthcoming, the club scaled back to no lights and a group of portacabins which serve as changing rooms, and a committee room cum canteen. It does the job, just. A vast improvement though is the pitch and what’s around it. Gor’s Field, still in use by reserves and youth, featured little more than benches hidden under the changing rooms’ overhang. Now, there’s a proper seated stand, and a container case covered area behind the goal.

What hasn’t changed is the friendly nature of the club. The chairman went home to collect the entire stock of metal badges for Peter to buy as souvenirs for football fans back home, and most of the information here came from the officials who were always willing to come and tell us more about their club.

The game pitted Llanfair against their Anglesey neighbours of a full 7 miles away, Gwalchmai. The programme predicted a close encounter, that was spot on, but what we got was close to a classic. Aled Thomas thumped home to open the scoring but Gwalchmai quickly responded to equalise then take the lead, all within the first 10 minutes! Thomas then equalised with a fine 20 yard strike, the goal of the game, and Llanfair hit the woodwork twice before half time, the second when it looked a good deal easier to score!

Inevitably the second half slowed a little as a spectacle, although at no point could you predict a winner. Allman fired home to give the advantage to the visitors, but Llanfair rallied again for Richard Owen to respond almost immediately after. 3-3 was probably fair, although home keeper Liam Ewing had to produce a fine save at the death, tipping over the bar.

A little tip for those visiting this wonderful little club. Since the club cannot do much more catering than chocolate and hot drinks, if you want something hot to eat, try the Caffi Glan Menai opposite the station. The food’s rather good, and the cafe advertises in the football club’s programme.

There’s frost on the graves and the monuments

07 Tuesday Feb 2012

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Saturday 4th February 2012 ko 8.00pm

Belgian Pro-League

STVV SINT-TRUIDENSE 0

CERCLE BRUGGE 1 (Vitokele 37)

Att 6,184

Entry €20

Yearbook and teamsheet FREE

Badge €4

After leaving Aachen,and warming up in Lee’s car, it was just an hour’s drive, clipping the edge of the Netherlands, before arriving in the Flemish city of Sint Truiden. Author Aldous Huxley briefly lived here.

With the temperatures falling still further, I don’t think any of us quite believed that the fixture would take place, even though the sage of Belgian football, Peter Abbott, had informed me that the pitch was state of the art 4G, and that it had passed an earlier pitch inspection. There was also the vexed issue of actually getting a ticket, as top flight Belgian games can have fairly stringent ticketing arrangements. We walked into the ticket office, brandishing our passports, and Lee’s details were taken, but otherwise the process was straightforward. We commiserated with the staff, as the heating in the club offices had failed. I used the visit to take pictures of the club banner and the East Stand, where I was to sit later.

We then checked into out hotel in nearby Hasselt, and enjoyed watchng the smokers’ dilemna at the entrance. Feed your addiction and get cold or stay in the warm and withdraw. We used the time at the hotel to load up on coffee, and put on every item of clothing we possessed. Twenty minutes later, back at the car we looked like 4 Michelin men!

I discovered from the Yearbook that the reason for the new pitch is that the club have dug down from the old pitch to build an underground car park. With that in place it’s taken the strain off the street parking, and the pitch played perfectly despite the freezing conditions.

It was quite biblically cold. My camera lens could only take around 5 seconds worth of exposure before freezing up, and needing to return to the warmth of my pocket. I couldn’t resist checking the temperature on my iPhone, in a state of amused horror!

Stayen is a stadium in progress. The club offices, and some shops, are held within the fabric of the modern north stand, which frankly doesn’t look like a football ground from the outside. We sat in the modern East stand, which almost unbelievably, featured a disco in the concourse! Opposite, the old West stand has been demolished, with just a tiny terrace on that side while the new stand is being built. For the groundhopper, the reason to visit Stayen is the narrow double deck stand behind the goal. Terrace below, and seats above, its the one remaining part of the old Stayen, and long may it survive.

There’s no reason for it to go, because STVV are marooned at the bottom of the league, and I saw nothing about them in this game to suggest that salvation is just around the corner. Once Igor Vitokele nodded home from a corner just after the half hour, their fragile confidence was shattered, as passes went astray, and the crowd began to get on the players’ backs. It wasn’t a bad game, and I wasn’t that cold, the layers of clothing worked well, but I couldn’t see how STVV could get back into the game. That was for two reasons, firstly because STVV offered so little, and secondly due to the freezing fog sweeping the ground, putting the fixture in some doubt.

After half time the STVV side was rejigged, but to little effect. The fog relented a little, although I note that the club have offered all those there a free ticket for their next home game, on the basis that you couldn’t see this one!! STVV huffed and puffed but at no stage did they look like even getting even an equaliser. I felt for them, as they were easy to deal with, a friendly club, but relegation looks certain.

German Beer is Chemical Free

06 Monday Feb 2012

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Saturday 4th February 2012

Bundesliga 2

TSV ALEMANNIA AACHEN 2 (Auer 13p Demai 15)

FC ST PAULI 1 (Boll 39)

Att 22,752

Entry €34

Programme FREE

Badge €4

Coffee €2

Glüwein €2.50 (mulled wine)

Frikadelle & Chips €4.50

With the temperature having warmed up to a positively balmy -11C, we did wonder whether this game would fall foul of the weather too. But there is undersoil heating at the Neuer (New) Tivoli, and this is Germany! So 20,000 plus people simply wrapped up warmly, and away we went.

The new Tivoli opened in August 2009, with its nearby predecessor being recently demolished. The adjacent ground is in fact for equestrian sports. There are nods to the old ground with the yellow roof, and the name, which the club has decided not to replace with a sponsor’s, choosing instead to levy a 1 euro supplement, the “Tivoli penny” making up in part, for the lost revenue.

The capacity is set at 32 960 seats, broken down as follows: 11,681 standing places, of which 10,584 are on the massive South Stand (Bitburger Wall), 19,345 seats, 1,348 business seats, 28 boxes, each containing twelve seats, 100 disabled spaces and 110 press seats. I did find the concourses slightly disappointing in that they’re not fully enclosed. On a warm day though, I might have taken a different view! One major pain was the Tivoli-Karte, via which is how all food and drink is purchased, no cash is allowed. You pay for the card, then charge it up with credit, and of course, you always have slightly too much or too little for what you want. That I suppose is the point!

Maybe it was the game, maybe it was the atmosphere, aided in no small part from the army of travelling St Pauli fans, from Hamburg, but I really enjoyed this game.  St Pauli of course are the famous “Cult” club. They’re known for  left-leaning politics, social activism and the event and party atmosphere of the club’s matches. Supporters adopted the skull and crossbones as their own unofficial emblem. St. Pauli became the first team in Germany to officially ban right-wing nationalist activities and displays in its stadium in an era when fascist-inspired football hooliganism threatened the game across Europe. In fact at one point banners were displayed from the away end telling the home fans to wake up to the extremists within the home terraces. You can see the banners in one of the pictures.

With fans like this, it was a shame that their team failed to live up to their following. Aachen won the game in 2 mad minutes. Firstly Zambrano hacked down Radu in the box, Auer’s penalty sending St Pauli fanatic and keeper Pliquett the wrong way. Then, a neat passing move round Demai 20 yards, and his curling shot easily beat Pliquett. St Pauli had the lion’s share of possession, but were creating too little with it. Finally all the possession led to a goal ,when a poor clearance fell to Boll, who tucked away the chance.

The second half continued in a similar vein. Substitute Saglik thought he’d scored but referee Willenborg ruled him to be offside, even the home supporters thought that was probably a wrong decision. Aachen just about deserved their win, even if for most of the half I thought St Pauli would snatch a point.

In the final analysis I was just pleased to have got a game to watch, and a good one at that!

And my radio says tonight its going to freeze

06 Monday Feb 2012

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3rd 4th & 5th February 2012

The idea of this trip was down to Lee West and Andy Croft. Being both groundhoppers and St Pauli fans they saw this as a trip to watch their team play at Allemannia Aachen’s new ground, and build a footballing weekend around it. The plan was to do 4 games in the Netherlands, Germany, Belgium and France over 3 days. With Chris Berezai aboard, it all looked rather good on paper…. Trouble is the weather intervened!!!

The first game was to be Go Ahead Eagles, in Deventer, Netherlands. The Slaapfabrik hotel (literally Sleepfactory) in nearby Teuge, was booked, and we took the Eurotunnel shuttle on Friday morning. By them, we’d lost Go Ahead Eagles to a frozen pitch, but had replaced it with equally nearby Apeldoorn. Travelling up though France and Belgium we watched firstly the temperature drop, then it started to snow.. By Antwerp, the motorway was down to a slow trickle, and the windows in Lee’s car were freezing, on the inside. Apeldoorn soon was postponed, despite their artificial pitch, leaving the only realistic option being Herenveen, in the north of the country. After 2 and a half hours, of crawling traffic, and having seen far too much of the Eindhoven ring road, the decision was made to head for the hotel and find a meal.

4 exhausted hoppers, staggered into the hotel, and from that moment everything began to look up. The proprietor showed us to our rooms, each named after somewhere she’d visited ( I got Bora Bora), and we were impressed at both the size and specification. Just as importantly she phoned up a nearby restaurant, The Take Off, so we could have a meal. They’d closed the kitchen for the night, but agreed to reopen for us. With the village thermometer showing -12C we shuffled over to the restaurant, a converted airport terminal, to be met by our waiter.

“So lads, 4 pints and 4 steaks then?” Absolutely delicious and most welcome. Lee went for the Sea Bass, which he demolished nearly as quickly as I did my steak! We were walking back to the hotel when we spotted a little bar. Not much seemed to be going on but, purely for research purposes we decided to have a swift half. The welcome we got when they worked out that our itinerary wasn’t a joke, was as warm as it was cold outside.  What should have been a quick half turned into a hugely enjoyable evening and if it wasn’t for the early start on Saturday we’d have stayed until the small hours. The meat nibbles served up between drinks were also very popular!

The Slaapfabrik had one more treat for us. The continental breakfast served with the winter panorama was a beautiful and delicious end to our stay in Teuge.

The best bit of course is that since we’d seen no football, we get to go back!!!! Here’s a link for the hotel, they deserve it. http://www.deslaapfabriek.nl/

That’ll do!

01 Wednesday Feb 2012

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Tuesday 31st January 2011 ko 7.45pm

Combined Counties League Premier Division

COVE 1 (Harewood 63)

SOUTH PARK 7 (Lavery 2 9 13 64 G Smith 41 C Smith 74 84)

Att 25 (h/c)

Entry £6

Programme 50p

Oak Farm, at the end of Squirrel Lane, in Farnborough owed me a game. Or rather I owed the Farnborough district of Cove a game! Let me explain. Around 14 years, and 1000 grounds ago, I was learning my hopping trade. I spotted in the “Non League Paper” that Cove were at home on Spring Bank Holiday. I arrived at 2pm, about an hour before what I thought was kick off. What I didn’t know then was that on Bank Holidays CCL fixtures are usually at 11am, so all I saw was the start of the post-match drinks! Entirely my fault, and I’ve made use of this quirk of the fixtures a few times since.

It was a chilly night, but I tucked into a mug of tea and a delicious burger (a shame no onions) , and with 3 other hoppers enjoyed a game that summed up much of this friendly little club’s recent history.

From being relegated by choice from the Isthmian League in 1996, to finishing rock bottom of the Combined Counties League in 1997/8 and 98/99, and the Premier Division in 03/04, to having arsonists torch the main stand in 2002, life has not been kind to them. The stand was replaced by a modular affair which does little else but maintain necessary gradings, but on this occasion the defence looked in most need of rebuilding.

Put simply, defending a high line and being incapable of spring the offside trap properly will inevitably lead to the concession of goals, and plenty of them. Time after time the Cove defence stepped up and each time a South Park forward found himself clean through. Keiran Lavery collected a quite superb 13 minute hat trick, and goals continued to arrive at regular invervals. It wasn’t that Cove were wretched, but every mistake was being punished. A shred of salvation arrived with Andrew Harewood’s fine shot, but a minute later there was Lavery at the other end to resume normal service. Substitute Chris Smith scored and missed two, as Cove’s defence seemed to lose what little of the plot they’d had had in the first place.

On this occasion the final whistle served two purposes, one to put Cove out of their misery and for those hardly souls spectating to trudge off in search of some warmth, observing that the puddles in the car park, were now ice.