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Real Football

18 Sunday Mar 2012

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18th March 2012 ko 10.10am

Central Midlands League South Division

CLIFTON 3 (Atkins 52 C Anderson 61 Richardson 90)

REAL UNITED 0

Att 267

Entry & Programme Hop Ticket

Badge £3

Team sheet 20p

This was the 9th, and sadly the last Central Midlands League Bonanza, where games are staggered so as to attract the groundhoppers. It’s hop that I was involved in for a short time until GroundhopUK and the League mutually agreed that the League would take over the running of the hop wholly themselves. The face of the CMFL, of course is Rob Hornby, one of life’s unsung heroes who works both tirelessly and with a huge smile for grassroots football despite serious ill health. Rob’s retired from the CMFL committee but continues to run the Bonanza, and will shift the hop to the Notts Senior League for next season. We at GroundhopUK were pleased to donate a stuffed carrier bag of programmes for Rob and wife Hazel’s charity programme stall and attend a hop where all we had to do was watch the game. Mind, you it didn’t stop me being stopped regularly to be asked whether I’d done the crowd count!

I wonder how many people who seeing Clifton would immediately think Bristol. In fact this Clifton is in Nottingham.  The Clifton family trace their lineage back to Alvaredus de Clifton, a Norman knight who was appointed Warden of Nottingham Castle in the time of William the Conquerer, and who took his name from this Nottinghamshire village, now a city suburb, in which he settled. Sir Gervase de Clifton purchased the manors of Clifton and Wilford from the de Rodes family in the late 13th century, and held Clifton Manor until the 1950’s.

Clifton is also a well known area in Nottingham for sporting talent, with Olympic Ice Skater Jayne Torvill growing up here, as did former Boxing Champion brothers Tony and Kirkland Laing. Jermaine Pennant, Jermaine Jenas, and Darren Huckerby all played as youngsters for Clifton (Formerly Clifton All Whites).

The Norman Archer Memorial ground is more than adequate for the club’s needs, playing 7 promotions from the football league. There’s a small stand, with no seats, plus hard standing. I can imagine the place being fairly bleak when its cold and windy. Not a problem on a warm day like this, the programme sold out, and club officials were kept busy printing out teamsheets for the throng. There also seemed to be a roaring trade in bacon rolls!

The opposition were even more intriguing. Real (pronounced the Spanish way-“Ray-Ahl”) play at the nearby Gresham Sports Centre, but started life in 1998 as a means of reducing drug use and associated crime in the area.

With the CMFL altering its constitution from a top and second division to North and South divisions I was interested to see how the standard would have fitted in the old set up.  The visitors pronunciation of Real was unfortunate as this game was real football, in the English language sense, two amateur sides slugging in out in what was at times more enthusiastic than skillful. The game needed a goal and a spectacle it was a little dull until Clifton opened the scoring, after that it was one way traffic.

It was a pleasure to catch-up with friends, especially those who couldn’t be on last week’s Welsh hop-up, and the promise of another 3 games kept me more than interested. That said it did seem strange for it to be midday and I still had 4 and a half hours of football to watch!

That’ll do!

01 Wednesday Feb 2012

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Tuesday 31st January 2011 ko 7.45pm

Combined Counties League Premier Division

COVE 1 (Harewood 63)

SOUTH PARK 7 (Lavery 2 9 13 64 G Smith 41 C Smith 74 84)

Att 25 (h/c)

Entry £6

Programme 50p

Oak Farm, at the end of Squirrel Lane, in Farnborough owed me a game. Or rather I owed the Farnborough district of Cove a game! Let me explain. Around 14 years, and 1000 grounds ago, I was learning my hopping trade. I spotted in the “Non League Paper” that Cove were at home on Spring Bank Holiday. I arrived at 2pm, about an hour before what I thought was kick off. What I didn’t know then was that on Bank Holidays CCL fixtures are usually at 11am, so all I saw was the start of the post-match drinks! Entirely my fault, and I’ve made use of this quirk of the fixtures a few times since.

It was a chilly night, but I tucked into a mug of tea and a delicious burger (a shame no onions) , and with 3 other hoppers enjoyed a game that summed up much of this friendly little club’s recent history.

From being relegated by choice from the Isthmian League in 1996, to finishing rock bottom of the Combined Counties League in 1997/8 and 98/99, and the Premier Division in 03/04, to having arsonists torch the main stand in 2002, life has not been kind to them. The stand was replaced by a modular affair which does little else but maintain necessary gradings, but on this occasion the defence looked in most need of rebuilding.

Put simply, defending a high line and being incapable of spring the offside trap properly will inevitably lead to the concession of goals, and plenty of them. Time after time the Cove defence stepped up and each time a South Park forward found himself clean through. Keiran Lavery collected a quite superb 13 minute hat trick, and goals continued to arrive at regular invervals. It wasn’t that Cove were wretched, but every mistake was being punished. A shred of salvation arrived with Andrew Harewood’s fine shot, but a minute later there was Lavery at the other end to resume normal service. Substitute Chris Smith scored and missed two, as Cove’s defence seemed to lose what little of the plot they’d had had in the first place.

On this occasion the final whistle served two purposes, one to put Cove out of their misery and for those hardly souls spectating to trudge off in search of some warmth, observing that the puddles in the car park, were now ice.

Check-mate

27 Sunday Nov 2011

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Sunday 27th November 2011 ko 10.30am

Upper Thames Valley League Division 2

CHECKENDON EXILES 0

KING & QUEEN WHEATLEY 3 (Thomas 18 Evans 54 80)

Att 6 

Free Entry

The village of Checkendon lies in South Oxfordshire, around 6 miles from Henley-on-Thames. The Henley influence is obvious, you do find yourself in Millionaires Row! The local boozer is a gastropub, and as the game progressed a regular sight in the background were Ocado vans, for those too lazy to actually travel to Waitrose!

Checkendon’s most obvious attraction is the Equestrian Centre but I was more taken with the Church of England parish church of Saint Peter and Saint Paul,  a 12th century Norman building. All but one of the windows were replaced later in the Middle Ages with Decorated Gothic and Perpendicular Gothic ones, and the Perpendicular Gothic west tower is also a later addition. Its offered a good backdrop to some of the photos!

About a mile away is Hook End Manor. In the 1960s Alvin Lee of Ten Years After fame sold it to Dave Gilmour. Gilmour recorded parts of Pink Floyd’s 1987 album, ‘A Momentary Lapse of Reason’ in a studio at the house. The band’s inflatable pig, first used to promote their “Animals” album a decade earlier was stored in one of the outbuildings.

The Manor was then bought by West Side Productions, who produced both Madness and Morrissey recordings there. In the 1990s, the Manor was purchased by producer Trevor Horn who was responsible for the high tech studio which is still in use today.

The Recreation Ground is shared with the village cricket club, but the only actual shared territory is the changing room, as the football pitch is tucked neatly away at the North-Eastern end of the ground. That helped to shelter me slightly on a blustery morning! Above two hawks circled, looking for prey.

This is an eastern outpost of the mainly Oxford based UTV League, the home team after all, were formerly known as Wallingford Exiles, and the club’s HQ is the Queens Arms in Goring-on-Thames, a town incidentally, that has George Michael as a resident! This factor may have something to do with why the game kicked off late as some the visitors got lost!

Perhaps that’s why it took King & Queen so long to get going. It became clear that Exiles were a side utterly lacking in either goal threat or confdence, this was their sixth game on the trot without scoring, and as the half progressed the frustration began to boil over. A midfielder and his club linesman disagreed over an overside call, and the two had to be seperated at half time, the linesman walking back to the changing rooms in high dudgeon. All King & Queen had to do was maintain a semblance of concentration to record an easy away win, and this they managed with just the odd lapse! Simon Evans’ winner, a thumping 25 yard drive was a good way to cap the victory.

Black Bullets

20 Sunday Nov 2011

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Saturday 19th November 2011 ko 3.00pm

FA Vase 2nd Round

CONSETT AFC 4 (Walton 44 45 Mackay 69 84)

RAMSBOTTOM UNITED 2 (Drew 48 Flannery 83)

Att 133

Entry £5

Programme £1

Raffle £1

Badge £3

Pie, Peas and Chips £2.80

Tea 50p

My attendance here was for the most straightforward of reasons, the ground will be knocked down at the end of the season, and it’s known to be a cracker. I took Chris Berezai, newly back from a holiday in Egypt along for the ride. We are both fans of the FA Vase, and let’s face it who’s going to turn down the chance to visit a ground like Belle Vue Park? Continue reading →

Salem’s Crucible

22 Saturday Oct 2011

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Saturday 22nd October 2011 ko 3.00pm

FA Vase 1st Round

COWES SPORTS 3 (Insley 52 57 Williams 87)

GILLINGHAM TOWN 0 Ben Salem sent off 24 (2nd booking-both dissent)

Att c120

Entry £5

Programme £1

Badge £3

Tea-in-a-mug 65p

Coffee-in-a-mug 70p

The idea for this one was Chris Berezai’s. He discovered that Red Funnel do a group off-peak discount on the Sea Cat from Southampton to Cowes. The “group” bit is as little as two, so a return ticket was just a shade over £15.00 for the both of us! What a bargain!

From the harbour it was a 10 minute walk up the hill to Reynolds Close, and Westwood Park. And what a ground it is, with the modern clubhouse, and best of all that stand. Built in the twenties in a weekend, by shipyard workers, yes it does have a number of pillars, but is an icon for a really friendly club. You really do forget you’re watching a club 6 promotions from the football league, they are so well organised and appointed. From Mick the mic on the PA through to the ladies working the tea bar, this was friendly club, who seemed genuinely pleased to host neutrals from Long Eaton and Oxford. Mind you Mick did initially pronounce the visitors’ name with a soft “G.” Its an easy mistake to make, but this is the Gillingham from Dorset, not Kent (Oxford United were playing there by the way), and he was quickly put right. Cowes, like their visitors are in 7th position in a step 6 league, so the match had the potential to test the relative strengths of the Wessex and Western leagues. Continue reading →

The All-Revisit Hop

09 Sunday Oct 2011

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Saturday 8th October 2011 ko 12pm

Hellenic League Division One West

CARTERTON FC 2 (MacDonagh 10 17)

LYDNEY TOWN 2 (Elliott 43 Liddington 47)

Att 102

Entry £4

Programme £1

Cappuccino 90p

Sausage & Chips £2

The purpose of this “mini-hop” is worth explaining. The Hellenic hop started life as a stand alone hop organised by the league itself. Later on the hop expanded and was attached to the Welsh hop when Chris Berezai became involved. With the Welsh hop now in Mid-Wales, the Hellenic has reverted to being stand alone. This day was set aside for those who had not visited the grounds on the original hops to catch up. That by the way included Chris himself! And that reader, is why I came to be doing 3 revisits for the first time, possibly ever!

Kilkenny Lane is one of my favourites in the league. It manages to combine good facilities with quirkiness. The bar is superb, little wonder League meetings are held here, but despite, the two stands, there is only one realistic place to watch the action, the bar’s balcony, thoughtful covered since my last visit. Jens from Germany was impressed; 5000+ grounds and he could drink, smoke and watch football simulaneously! Wunderbar! His travelling Margarete, was another welcome visitor, and her dislike for brown sauce was gently mocked as normal. Wonderful to see them again.

Carterton, were relegated last season, and have struggled to adjust to their new division. Lydney too have been in the top flight, and are struggling too. They would not have be happy to ship two goals in 10 minutes to goal keeping howlers, and then watch a stonewall penalty not be awarded by a referee bent on making as few decisions as possible. Creditably they fought their way back into the tie, and and their two goal blast was richly deserved.

The A3 Derby

22 Thursday Sep 2011

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Combined Counties League Premier Division

COLLIERS WOOD UNITED 1 (Davies 4)

HANWORTH VILLA 4 (Oakes 22 58 Preddie 43 Farnden 45)

Att 62

Entry £6

Programme £1

How many motorists have driven north along the A3 from the M25 and passed the ground not noticing the delights to be found at the Wibbandune Sports Ground, to their right? It really is a great little club to visit, once you’ve worked out how to park! The clever move is to park opposite and use the footbridge over the dual carriageway.

A friendly welcome awaits, as I discovered after a beast of a journey. I’d avoided the jams on the M25 and driven via Sheen and Kingston and got to the ground a full 30 seconds before kickoff. Nevertheless a programme was found, after a promise that if one couldn’t be found they’d print me one off. At half time I enjoyed a conversation about Queen’s Park FC.

The lineups were displayed on a blackboard, and updated with scorers and substitutions. Plenty for the student of the non league stadium with the quirky overhang to the clubhouse and the display of classic pitch rollers! Yes, there’s the Arena stand, to keep Colliers Wood at step 5, but it hasn’t ruined the feel of the place.

Sadly step 5 looks to be the height of the club’s ambitions at this ground. There’s a public footpath, it’s in no way enclosed and having a river at one end does mean games do get regularly waterlogged off.

On the pitch too Wood look a long way from  progressing further, despite Davies’ 35 yard blockbuster to open the scoring. From then on in their local rivals were always in control, and sadly for my excellent hosts, 1-4 was a fair reflection on the game.

I wholeheartly recommend a trip to this friendly little club, but do check if there’s been rain.

Laconophilia

05 Monday Sep 2011

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Midland Combination Division Two

COVENTRY SPARTANS 2 (Kabongo 6p Dennisur 26)

ENVILLE ATHLETIC 1 (Poole 41)

Att 22 (h/c)

Entry FREE

Programme £1

Tea 60p

An interesting one this. Last season Coventry Amateurs played a few hundred yards way, down Westwood Heath Road. The reserves split from the first XI, and retained the name, so the firsts moved to the University Sports ground and renamed themselves Spartans. Crucially for the paperchasers, its Spartans who have continued to issue, although I doubt it they actually sold more than 5 on this occasion.

Spartans at kick off were rock bottom of the league, without a win, so you would have expected their visitors to have attacked from the off. Not a bit of it, they sat back allow Spartans to walk all over them. By the time they had scored with their only attack of the first half, the tie had already been settled. A shame as I felt that if Spartans had been tested, their spirit may well have been exhausted quickly.

Still, a good visit to a friendly club.