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Football: Wherever it may be

~ Laurence's football travels

Football: Wherever it may be

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Brassed Off

09 Monday Apr 2012

Posted by laurencereade in B

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Barton Town Old Boys, Brighouse, brighouse and rastrick brass band, Danny Naidole, groundhop, northern counties east league, Richard Metcalf, Tom Matthews

Friday 6th April 2012 ko 7.45pm

Northern Counties East League Premier Division

BRIGHOUSE TOWN 5 (Matthews 27 28 Naidole 50 55 60)

BARTON TOWN OLD BOYS 1 (Metcalf 63) Lee sent off 71 (2nd booking)

Att 288

Entry & Programme Hop Ticket

Badge £3

Our last game saw a visit to the Dual Seal Stadium, or of you’d prefer St Giles Road, in the Calderdale town of Brighouse. I didn’t realise at the time we were only 4 miles east of Halifax!

Brighouse is best known for the Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band, founded in 1881. The band won the National Brass Band Contest in 1946 and in 1968 they won the first Brass Band World Championship. In 1977 they recorded “The Floral Dance” which reached Number 2 in the UK Top 40 and stayed there for 6 weeks, inspiring  Terry Wogan to release his own version some time later. There’s a small monument to them in the middle of a roundabout near the bus station. High praise indeed!

If dear reader, you’re looking for asthetically appealing stadia, then I’m afraid Brighouse isn’t for you. There’s 3 Portacabins which serve as clubhouse toilets and a hospitality area. There’s a terrace along one side which has a cover along half of it. It’s an odd arrangement as the roof seems to be attached to the fence separating the ground from the bus yard next door. The impression is that someones got a load of materials from a builders yard and cobbled together what they could. At one end the support is via suspension wires!!

The clubhouse was packed as merchandise was purchased, lineups obtained, and food (notably more expensive here) consumed. Being last game of the day, with little or competition, people were seen here that I hadn’t seen at some of the other games.

Brighouse had a point to prove having lost to Barton 5-0 earlier in the season, and what a point they made! From the moment that Danny Naidole went down in the box for a fortuitous penalty and Tom Matthews rolled in the penalty, there was no doubt as to the destination of the points. Matthews took precisely a minute to notch again, beating Town keeper Liam Taylor to a through ball.  With the goal wide open. Matthews met him, one-on-one, came off the better of a  50-50 challenge, picked himself up, and rolled the ball in from 18 yards out.

The second half was the Danny Naidole show, and Barton had no answers to his dash and touch. Five minutes, four chances and three goals put the game way beyond Barton, who in the middle of Naidole’s purple patch had Tom Lee booked for a particularly stupid bit of mouthing off at the referee. That was to prove costly to him if not to his club, the points were gone, in the 71st minute as his foul on Danny Hull was easily worth a card, and off he went.

By that time Barton had their consolation, substitute Richard Medcalf pulling one back, getting the final touch to Ryan Cooper’s goal-bound effort. All hoppers like a goal-feast and this certainly fitted the bill! As the final whistle went I noticed referee Tom Nield have to remind Naidole to take the match ball!

Drop-offs completed I went for a very quiet pint with Chris, Lee and Derek, so tired but happy on a good day’s hopping, and looking forward to what Saturday’s 4 games would bring.





 

 

One signpost only

09 Monday Apr 2012

Posted by laurencereade in L

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Arnold Town, Chris Freestone, Clayborn, Football, Gary Briggs, groundhop, groundhopping, Liversedge, Martin Carruthers, northern counties east league

Friday 6th April 2012 ko 4.45pm

Northern Counties East League Premier Division

LIVERSEDGE 0

ARNOLD TOWN 1 (Burton 43)

Att 317

Entry & Programme Hop Ticket

Badge £3

The village of Liversedge lies between Cleckheaton and Heckmondwike in the Spen Valley near Bradford. In 1812 it was the scene of a Luddite riot at Rawfolds Mill when the local weavers attacked Edmund Cartwright who was in the process of developing his new power loom. So dominated by its suroundings the village, that apparently there’s only one signpost directing you here. Continue reading →

The Idle Working Men’s Club

08 Sunday Apr 2012

Posted by laurencereade in T

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Bradford, Dennyfields, Football, groundhop, groundhopping, Long Eaton United, northern counties east, northern counties east league, Thackley

Friday 6th April 2012 ko 1.45pm

Northern Counties East League Premier Division

THACKLEY 1 (Mallinson 84)

LONG EATON UNITED 1 (Chambers 26)

Att 327

Entry & Programme Hop Ticket

Badge £3

Copy of Jack Charlton’s autobiography £3

Team Sheet 20p

It really was a very shot drive across Bradford to Thackley, in fact we had enough time to call in at the Idle Working Men’s Club! The name is a simple pun as the club is in the district of, yes Idle!

Despite the Bradford address Dennyfield has a rural feel to it, it even has a stables at one end! The club once again had read their notes, and were ready for the descending hoppers! This time the food of choice was a delicious chilli-con-carne with rice which seemed to be very popular. The club ran a bookstall in aid of “Help for Heroes” which I thought was a nice touch, and again the club’s big day went like clockwork.

I took a few minutes to have a look around. I soon found well-loved hopper Derek Coope having a doze in the clubhouse. No hop is quite the same without Deadly, a retired professor of mathematics. He’s not in the best of health these days, and I doubt his doctor would approve of him going groundhopping but its obvious what a lift these weekends give him. What he probably doesn’t know if how much his presence lifts everyone else!

The ground would grace a much higher level. There’s hard standing behind both goals and a large stand at the half way line. On the other side there’s a open terrace which the club are fundraising to convert to a second stand. Beyond the near goal there’s an intriguing tower structure. It turned out we were actually standing on top of a railway and the “Tower” is in fact a ventilation shaft!

The game for all the world looked a home banker as Long Eaton are struggling to maintain Premier Division status so when Danny Chambers fired United into the lead from a corner, and the visitors looked strong in defence a minor upset looked on the cards. I had my cup of tea with the officials at half time, none of which seemed unduly worried, apart from the vexed issue of consuming the delicious but hot soup and be out for the second half!

That seemed to be following a similar path to the first. Thackley attacked and Long Eaton defended, it wasn’t a wonderful spectacle but I found it gripping in a “Will they, won’t they” way. Thackley did equalise, Matt Morgan’s through ball into the box was seized on by John Mallinson, who from the tightest of angles on the right managed to find the net. That was the very least Thackley deserved, but it did leave one person slightly disappointed, Long Eaton resident Chris Berezai! Not sure the accent is quite Derbyshire though!

I bought the Jack Charlton book



Derek

Badges Posters Stickers & T-Shirts

08 Sunday Apr 2012

Posted by laurencereade in E

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Andy Sykes, Dinnington, Eccleshill, groundhop, groundhopping, Marcus Edwards, Matt Smith, Michael Trench, northern counties east league, Simon Mirfin, Town

Friday 7th April 2012 ko 10.45am

Northern Counties East League Division One

ECCLESHILL 2 (Edwards 26p Smith 90og)

DINNINGTON TOWN 3 (Trench 11 72 Mirfin 53)

Att 253

Entry & Programme Hop Ticket

Badge £3

Raffle £1

After watching the forty or so hoppers take full advantage for a buffet breakfast at the hotel, we set off north for the first of four games today.

It had many years since I’d last visited Bradford. The cliches about Mosques and Temples do hold to some extent, but the ward of Eccleshill is more suburb than sikh, and Plumpton Park a green oasis. There’s tradition, the sadly disused urinals that a tall person could have used and continued to watch the game, and the stand whose seat numbers aren’t sequential. I watched our coach load languidly walk round and enjoy the facilities.

If the NCEL wanted a blueprint on how to host a hop game, this was it. From the moment I walked in, the club showed wonderful hospitality, even down to a gentleman cleaning down the seats in the stand. I was asked “Are we doing all right” by chairman Adrian, “Mate, I replied it really couldn’t be better.” Bacon Rolls and sausages were bought at a quite incredible rate, and Chris and I had to do nothing more than enjoy a cup of tea and chat with the club and League officials who again had turned out in force.

There was a presentation to Andy Sykes of Dinnington by League Chairman David Morrall, to mark the players 400th appearance, before the real action started.

Dinnington started brightly, and opened the scoring in spectacular fashion with Michael Trench’s superb free kick going in with the help of the post. Marcus Edwards replied for Eccleshill from the penalty spot after Sykes was adjudged to have handled.

After the break a defence splitting ball put Dinnington’s Simon Mirfin clean through, and he made no mistake slotting past home keeper Dominic Smith. Finishing was the difference between the two sides, as Eccleshill were to miss two gilt-edged chances. Andy Howland’s miss was bad, but Marcus Edwards effort – a yard out with the keeper behind him was incredible. No-one, not even him will understand how it was physically possible to get the ball over the ball from there! The player could do little else in the aftermath than weakly smile.

United were made to pay as Liam Cartledge’s erudite lay-off found Trench, and he blasted home from 25 yards. A little rough on the friendly hosts, who found scant solace in Matt Smith’s late own goal. By that time the clubs were enjoying the phenomenon of “Groundhoppers itch” where hoppers get itchy feet and head for the exits with a few minutes left!

I thanked the club for their efforts and headed for the coach. Another 3 to do, you see!





Here we go again!

08 Sunday Apr 2012

Posted by laurencereade in Y

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Baris, Football, groundhop, Hemsworth Miners Welfare, Hop, northern counties east, northern counties east league, Rob Hornby, Ryan Williams, Yorkshire Amateur

Thursday 5th April 2012 ko 7.45pm

Northern Counties East League Division One

YORKSHIRE AMATEUR 1 (Craig Heard 45)

HEMSWORTH MINERS WELFARE 3 (Crapper 11 Williams 19 48)

Att 179

Entry & Programme Hop Ticket

Badge £3

“Leeds Pale” Bitter £2.50/pint

This was a long day! From Long Eaton, Chris and I set off for Staveley Miners Welfare to pick up 3 sets of programmes for the inaugural NCEL hop. From there it was further up the M1 to the Cedar Court Hotel in Wakefield, our HQ for the weekend. There we were joined by League Committee member Karl Blackburn with the other sets of programmes. It took around 90 minutes to put together the 100 or so programme packs for those who’d pre booked their tickets.

By that time it was around 1.30, so Chris and I started the shuttle runs to the various rail stations of Wakefield to pick up the public transport using hoppers. Included in that throng was the towering presence of Ari, the chairman of the Scarborough FC Norwegian supporters club, which has 60 members!

After a strong coffee, it was soon 5.45 and our coach, driven by Godfrey arrived. It took around an hour to reach Leeds and Bracken Edge, home of our first club Yorkshire Amateur. On the way we had a phone call from Central Midlands League Bonanza organiser Rob Hornby to wish us luck. Considering that there’s friction between the CMFL and the NCEL it was a wonderful gesture from a class act.

From there on in it was a bit of a blur for an hour, as programme packs were distributed, friends reaquainted and officials met. It was a bit of a relief when we could all go and watch some football!

The “Ammers” are club with real history. They were founded in November 1918 but only began playing matches in 1919. In those early days, the club’s fixtures largely consisted of playing friendlies at Elland Road following the demise of Leeds City FC, on the orders of the Football Association, after irregularities were discovered in their accounts. However, in 1920 the club decided that the ground was not suitable for their needs and sold the lease to the newly formed Leeds United AFC for the sum of £250! They moved to their present headquarters at Bracken Edge in 1922 after using several other grounds, including sharing with Harrogate Town.  in 1932 a record crowd of 3,569 paid gate receipts of £160 to see the 5-2 Amateur Cup Quarter Final replay victory over Wimbledon. This was after a 2-2 draw at Plough Lane before a crowd of 12,000. The “Ammers” had demolished the holders, Wycombe Wanderers, 4-0 in the previous round but lost to Marine in the semi final.

Since then life has been a struggle, living in the shadow of the far bigger professional clubs in the area, but is a remarkably spick and span ground that sadly these days sees gates in the teens. For all that, the clubhouse has been refurbished and the club worked incredibly hard serving up hot food and specially purchased real ale to the hoppers.

On the pitch sad to say, Amateur were no match for their visitors from mid-way between Barnsley and Pontefract proved to be far too strong for their hosts. Ryan Williams was the pick of the players on show collecting a brace, but the scoreline could easily have been crueller on the hosts.

As organiser, I’d have liked to have seen a few more at the game, but given the appalling traffic on the M1 and on a working day, I’m probably just being hard to please. On the way out of the first ground on each hop, I’ve got into the habit of quietly listening to hoppers’ impressions of what they’ve just seen. They were all positive, so I allowed myself to breathe, and after returning to the hotel, we found a local boozer, with acting Fareham Town FC secretary Paul “Splodge” Proctor, and relaxed.





This is England Innit?

08 Sunday Apr 2012

Posted by laurencereade in P

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Courtney Webster, Mental Hospital, Mickleover Country Park, Midland Regional Alliance, Pastures, Punjab United, Simeon Lawrence

Wednesday 4th April 2012 ko 6.15pm

Midland Regional Alliance Division 1

PASTURES 1 (Bridge 21)

PUNJAB UNITED 5 (K Aujla 16 Pattern 27 Breer 38 Lawrence 58 Webster 70)

Att 9 (h/c)

Entry FREE

Nothing for sale

I headed up to Long Eaton after work to meet Chris Berezai, as the next day would see the start of the Northern Counties East League groundhop we are organising, and that necessitated an early start the next day. When in the area the only logical thing to do of course is to take in a game!

Pastures play in Mickleover, near Derby and have the Mickleover Country Park as their base. There’s quite a backdrop with the the countryside and the Toyota plant to one side, but at the back of a terraced grass bank, there’s a church and a glasshouse, but what dominates is a huge building containing well-to-do flats. I asked what it was and was rather taken aback. It turns out that it used to be the Pastures Mental Hospital! It was built to a design by architect Henry Duesbury in the years 1848 to 1851 and opened in 1851. Above the doorway of the main entrance you will see the Roman Numerals MDCCCXLIX, meaning 1849. If you weren’t confused when you walked in…

For train buffs Mickleover was the site of a test track which was used by the research department of British Rail to test model trains for the future Channel Tunnel. It’s located near the old Mickleover railway station but is now disused.

I took time out to speak to both managers. Pastures were happy to get their excuses in early, “If I had my full team out we could win this,” but the Punjab bench seemed more upbeat. I joked with subsitute Simeon Lawrence how could the weather be so cold and wet when just a few days earlier I’d watched games in my shirtsleeves? “Because this is England innit!” he replied, and he was totally correct.

We were joined by the bard of Newhall United Dan Bishop, and watched as my first impressions proved to be correct. Punjab barely broke sweat in their Derby County strip (mind you it WAS cold!) as they tore their hosts to shreds. A goalkeeping error gave Pastures some consolation, but my new friend Simeon came on to score before a stunning strike from Courtney Webster ended the tie as a spectacle.

Easy tickings, albeit at a low level, and we were back in Long Eaton early for the lengthy day ahead.



Dan

North of Warwick

08 Sunday Apr 2012

Posted by laurencereade in P

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Aston, Dave Withers, Hermitage Hill, Leon Haddock, Midland Combination, Polesworth, soccer, Tamworth

Tuesday 3rd April 2012 ko 6.10pm

Midland Combination Division 2

POLESWORTH 1 (L Haddock 67)

ASTON 0

Att 26 (h/c)

Entry FREE

No Programme

There’s aren’t many advantages to an earlier than usual finish at work in Banbury, but an early kick off in the Midland Combination is one! The club used to be known as Polesworth North Warwick, and while the town is in Warwickshire, its a long way north of Warwick, being close to Tamworth! The name was in fact a reference to the North Warwick (open cast) Colliery that dominated the landscape to the extent that the river Ankert was diverted to accomodate it. Those days are long gone, and Polesworth is little more than a dormitory suburb.

Boudicca, queen of the Iceni tribe, is thought by some to have been buried somewhere at Polesworth following the defeat of her army by the Romans in battle near Manuessendum (modern day Mancetter) in A.D. 60. One theory suggests that, after taking poison, her body was placed on a raft and set adrift on the River Anker, eventually coming to rest in Polesworth, where her body is thought to haven been buried.

Hermitage Hill has a suburban feel, with its multi-sports set up, and the M42 rumbling away in the background. The basics are here, cover courtesy of an “add on” roof to the changing room block, and a rail on three sides. I did wonder whether in the past the pitch ran at right-angles to be current arrangements. A flat stretch of concrete did make me wonder.

The game pitched Polesworth struggling at the bottom of the bottom divsion, but under new management, against high flying Aston, second in the table. They had everything to play for being two points behind Greenhill, but with this game in hand.

The game had none of of the tension you’d have expected. It meandered pleasingly enough, but with no real edge until Leon Haddock fired home for Polesworth, in the 67th minute. After that the tackles flew in and there was a minor scuffle, that saw 3 booked. One more followed in the final minute, but it it all felt rather inconsequential.

Still a decent tick, on an unlit ground on a midweek, which is no bad thing.




A Question of Priorities

03 Tuesday Apr 2012

Posted by laurencereade in S

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Devon, Devon and Exeter League, norman lockyer observatory, science education project, Seaton Town, Sidmouth Town, South West Peninsula League

Sunday 1st April 2012 ko 2.30pm

Morrison Bell Cup Quarter Final

SIDMOUTH TOWN 0

SEATON TOWN  7 (Highet 2 Norman 31 34 56 60 Cross 45 Love 71)

Att 88 (h/c)

 

Entry FREE

No programme (old copy free)

Tea-in-a-mug 50p

With the first game overrunning I was grateful to Martin Bamforth who’d left early and covered the early stages of the second game of the day for Mike and I.

The town with its wide esplanade, has a Regency feel to it, but a series of south-westerly storms in the early 1990s washed away much of the shingle beach protecting the esplanade’s masonry. A series of artificial rock islands was constructed to protect the sea front, and tons of pebbles were trucked in to replace the beach.

Sidmouth is home to the Norman Lockyer Observatory and Planetarium, located on Salcombe Hill. The facility, completed in 1912, fell into disuse but was saved from demolition by the appeals of enthusiasts to East Devon District Council. The observatory now operates as a science education project and is open to the public.

This fixture looked to be an intriguing encounter with local rivals pitched against each other. Sidmouth won last season’s Devon & Exeter League and now sit in the lower reaches of the South West Peninsula League. Seaton are in pole position to take over as champions but may not be able to gain promotion as their pitch is too narrow.

With the elevation in status, there’s work in progress at the ground. The pitch is now railed on two sides and a green hardstanding path laid by the far touchline. Soon this will be augmented by a bus shelter-type cover. It won’t make the place the greatest place in the world to watch football but it will help to remove the sense of Park Pitch that is the pervasive feeling now.

With me dashing in late, I had no opportunity to jot down the lineups and make a judgement on what I was watching. It was quickly obvious that this was no contest whatsoever, as Seaton made easy work of their hosts, rolling in goals with steady ease. Norman helped himself to four, the third a magnificent turn and lob, as the hosts had absolutely no answers to their visitors’ questions.

So, was it simply that the top flight of the Devon & Exeter League is stronger than the Division One East of the SWPL?  I got my answer after the game when I got the line-ups from the home secretary. He admitted that while Seaton where completely focused, Sidmouth in contrast had decided to cobble together a team from the reserves and Sunday sides, even putting a midfielder in goal!

It appears that Mike and I without ever meaning to, prioritised the correct game. I wonder if the participating clubs both thought the same? This brought to an end my visit to Mike, Christine and the beautiful Jurassic coast. I’d like to thank both of them for their company, local expertise, and their wonderful hospitality.





Dilemna at Junction 30

02 Monday Apr 2012

Posted by laurencereade in T

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Billy Rouse, Clyst Valley, Coronation Park, Danny Hine, David Hood, Devon and Exeter League, Dominic Gibbons, Football, groundhopping, Mitchell Ward, Sam Cooper, South West Peninsula League, Topsham Town, university of exeter

Sunday 1st April 2012 ko 12.00pm

Golesworthy Cup Quarter Final

TOPSHAM TOWN 3RDS 3 (Gibbons 35 Rouse 38 Ward 45)

CLYST VALLEY 3RDS 3 (Hine 6 Hood 73 Cooper 90)

AET Clyst Valley won 4-3 on pens

Att 22 (h/c)

Entry FREE

No Programme

The pretty Devon town of Topsham is often described as a suburb of Exeter, but does retain its own distinct identity. Part of it is that there are many Dutch style houses in Topsham dating from the time when the town was an important cotton port. Many of Topsham’s houses are built using Dutch bricks, which were brought over as ballast from Holland – to where the wool and cotton from South-West England had been exported. There is an excellent antique centre on the Quayside, where once I picked up a rather impressive cheese grater!

The genteel feel does not extend to the Exeter Road based Coronation Field. Leaving town you pass by the University of Exeter ground, under the M5 and Topsham’s home is the next thing you see on your right. A huge sign for Junction 30 of the M5 is visible from the far goal. The club have played in the South-West Peninsula League, but following relegation, now ply their trade in the top flight of the Devon & Exeter League. The ground is well appointed, and would have no difficulties in gaining SWPL grading. In fact tucked away at the far side is a set of floodlights, bought as salvage from the sadly demolished Clyst Rovers ground.

Things are looking up for Topsham. They’re third in the table some distance behind leaders Seaton Town, but with doubts on Seaton’s rather narrow pitch, there’s all to play for. Except of course that Mike and I weren’t there to watch the 1st XI! With this game kicking off at midday and another at Sidmouth straight afterwards this wasn’t a day to worry about semantics! An unexpected bonus was that another hopper thought the same. I hadn’t seen Taunton-based Martin Bamforth for 2 years, which was a real pity. Martin has a long line of groundhopping mishaps which he’s not embarrassed to recount. A favourite was driving to Edinburgh to watch Hibernian in a European fixture only to discover on arrival that it was Hibernians of MALTA that were at home that evening!

The Golesworthy Cup is primarily for teams who play in the 6th, 7th and 8th divisions of the Devon and Exeter League, although some Perry Street and District League teams do enter. With criteria like that it’s inevitable that there’s very few first XI’s in the draw, and with these two sides 4th and 6th respectively in Division 6 the fixture did look competitive. I was told that Topsham’s 4th XI had won the trophy last season.

The trouble was it that the game found new ways to be a poor spectacle. Firstly Topsham conceded a daft goal, keeper John Parkes fumbling Danny Hine’s hopeful lob, before racing into a 3-1 lead, and looking completely dominant. Trouble is, after half time they stopped the neat passing that had given them the advantage. David Hood came on for Clyst and despite suffering the after-effects of a Saturday night curry, he finished well to get his team back in the game. With time tight for the Sidmouth we really didn’t want extra time, but of course that’s what we got, after a poor clearance was knocked in by Sam Cooper with seconds left.

Of course extra time produced nothing, as the both teams had ran themselves into the dust. That delayed the inevitable penalties by half an hour, and in this case Clyst knocked in all 4 they took to win. Except it wasn’t quite as straightforward as that. Barlow took the 4th for Clyst which was saved. Unfortunately for Topsham he hadn’t waited for the whistle and he scored with his retaken kick

At the end the Topsham players bemoaned that one incident, but if they’d kept doing what they’d started they’d have won this one easily.





Misses with the first attempt…….
But scores with the second

50.692242 -3.479016

Jurassic Park

02 Monday Apr 2012

Posted by laurencereade in L

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Football, groundhopping, Ilminster Town, Joel Gosling, Julian Simier, League, Louis Gilman, Lyme Regis, mary anning, Perry Street and District League

Saturday 31st March 2012 ko 2.30pm

Perry Street & District League Premier Division

LYME REGIS AFC 2 (Simier 52 Gosling 90)

ILMINSTER TOWN RESERVES 1 (Gilman 41)

Att 44 (h/c)

Entry by donation

No programme

125 years of LRFC brochure £2

Tea-in-a-mug 50p

It was a full 18 months since I’d last visited the Dorset town of Lyme Regis, and with me finally getting round to visiting friends Mike and Christine, in footballing terms the number one priority was a visit to the Davey Fort.

Lyme Regis is known primarily for one thing, palaeontology as the coast, a World Heritage site, stretches over a distance of 153 kilometres from Exmouth, in the west, to Old Harry Rocks in the east.The coastal exposures along the coastline provide a continuous sequence of Triassic, Jurassic and Cretaceous rock formations spanning approximately 185 million years of the Earth’s history. The localities along the Jurassic Coast include a large range of important fossil zones. The Blue Lias rock is host to a multitude of remains from the early Jurassic period.  Many of the remains are well preserved, with complete specimens of several important species. Many of the earliest discoveries of dinosaur and other prehistoric reptile remains were made in this area  notably those discovered by Mary Anning (1799–1847).

The Davey Fort sits on the hill as you enter the town from the north. There’s a clubhouse with an overhang behind the near goal, and a rail on one side. There simply isn’t room for much else as the ground is on a ledge cut out of the hill, and despite the obvious attempts to widen it, the pitch is too narrow to allow the club to progress upwards into the Dorset Premier League.

And that’s the tragedy of the piece. Here is a wonderful, charming club, who’ve won the league at a canter, and are clearly a big fish in a small pond, but the biggest problem lies in finding a large enough piece of flat land, in a hilly town that’s fashionably expensive! I chatted to club stalwart Graham “Percy” Vere (529 goals in 20 years), who told me that the club had found a suitable site further north, only to be turned down by the local authorities, as ONE PERSON had complained that he might have been able to have seen a floodlight! And people wonder why this country has an obesity problem!

With Lyme having the title all wrapped up, this game had the incentive of the club maintaining its 100% home record for the season. They made a confident start but the visitors, one of whose subsitutes had no idea in which league his first eleven play(Somerset County League), soon found their feet. Ilminster surprised everyone, including themselves, by scoring just before half time, when a beautifully flighted free kick from the left was turned in by Louis Gilman.

Regis didn’t seem unduly worried and soon after the restart a perfectly flighted cross from the right was expertly headed home by subsitute Julian Simien. Its was one way traffic by now and only a series of baffling off-sides given by the Ilminster club linesman kept the champions out. It was, of course only a matter of time, and in the final minute a perfect cross-cum-shot from the right by Joel Gosling nestled in the corner of the net. When you’re this good, you need no other opportunity.

A great achievement, but tinged with the regret that through no fault of their own, they’ll be having no other challenge next season but to try to repeat the feat.






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  • Damage In The Box Chris Powell’s travels across the UK and Europe. The artist must frequently seen in the pub 0
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